Porcelain Doll
by PaintedinAllColors
Summary: Fragile, breakable, they called her. Be careful, they warned her. They treated her like a porcelain doll. And she hated it. They overlooked her Saiyan blood, and only saw her illness, her human side. And she hated every minute of it. She was sick of it.
1. Chapter 1

Me: Now this is my new fanfiction that is the product of my odd imagination! Okay, this takes place in the present, which is now 2011. Um, Goku's still here, DragonBalls are gone, and I think that's it. So, I do not own Dragon Ball/Z/GT. Oki, I think I'm done now. 

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><p><strong><em><span>Prologue<span>_**

She closed her eyes, refusing to let the tears fall. How could they? Why did they treat her like that? She wasn't breakable, she was a Saiyan. But they didn't see that. All they saw was her sickness, her weakness, her human side. They overlooked her Saiyan blood because of her disease; they overlooked it because she was only quarter Saiyan. They thought that just because she was sick, she wasn't a Saiyan. They didn't shun her, but she almost wished they had. Then she wouldn't be so sheltered, so restricted. She wouldn't have to always be careful, and she wouldn't be called fragile. But they always took such care with her. Too much care, in fact. They never let her do anything because she might get hurt. They treated her like a porcelain doll, made of the most breakable china. And they ignored her Saiyan blood. Except for two people. Except for her sensei, who pushed her to her limits, who didn't hesitate to make her bleed, destroy her body. Who never cared about her illness, who ignored it and trained her nevertheless. Who had taught her to be strong and be proud; to accept herself, and use it to her advantage, to not live in the misery and shadows of what could have been. And her Grandpa Goku. He had taught her that she was who she was, and even though she could not be changed, she should love herself. He had taken her into his arms when she had come to him crying, and he had stared solemnly into her eyes, onyx on onyx, and said, "No matter what, you'll always be my Panny. And you'll always be a Saiyan at heart. The greatest warriors are often those who have had to overcome the greatest obstacles." She had laughed and buried her face in his training gi, and she had felt so comfortable and warm. Even now, she would fly to him when things were overwhelming. And he would always comfort her, and remind her about her Saiyan side, something almost everyone else seemed to have forgotten about. It had all started on that day. She remembered the day her life was turned upside down like it had just happened….

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

_It was a cold winter day. January 26__th__, 2001. That day would always be etched into her memory. She had been seven years old back then; one week away from her birthday. She was at the doctors, eyes drawn wide at the sight of a needle. A sharp needle, and she had screamed that day. Screamed so long and loud. Her parents had held her down, and afterwards, when she told her sensei about it, he had laughed and said that Kakarott was just the same, afraid of needles. Her mother had cradled her in her arms, cooing sweet little nothings that meant nothing and everything all at once to calm her down. She'd just given blood for some tests, and her crying had died down to a few terrified whimpers. Even at seven, she needed to be held and comforted after a shot. It wasn't her fault she was absolutely petrified at the sight of needles; in fact it was a common joke among family, with the Saiyan genes being dominant. Her father and her grandfather had both been terrified by the sight of needles as well, and her precious grandpa had always lifted her onto his shoulders and said, "Pan-chan, every great warrior must have a weakness." And she would smile and laugh, and cling on tight to his shoulders. And her Uncle Goten would make the same joke, "Pan's tough. After all, she was named after the most fearsome weapon in the universe, Mom's frying pan!" And, even though he had said it a million times and the joke should have been old by then, she would laugh. _

_She was sitting on her mother's lap, on the verge of a peaceful slumber, face turned into her mother's shirt, when the doctor walked in, a grim expression on his face. _

_"Mr. and Mrs. Son, we have bad news," he had said, a sorrowful expression in his eyes. It had been genuine too, he was the only doctor that knew about her heritage. The only one the trusted. She had looked up sleepily, confused as to what he was saying. "Your daughter has leukemia." Those words had been the end of her life as it was before, and the beginning of a new life where she had to take pills, and be sick, and was treated like she would break at any minute. _

_Her parents had been so shocked, and then her mother burst into tears, followed by her father and the doctor. They had all cried sincerely, and they had all paused when they realized that the one person who should have been crying the most wasn't. They had all stared at her, and hugged her close._

"_Pan, you know what leukemia is, right?" Dr. Alcott had asked, wiping his eyes._

"_It's blood cancer," she had replied. "And I have it." She had remained untouched, unperturbed by that news. And she knew that she had to be the rock, and tether them all to the Earth at that moment._

"_Yes, you do Pan," Dr. Alcott had replied, astonished by this young girl's maturity. Any other child would have been bawling and crying, but he knew Pan was special. "And you know what that means, right?"_

"_It means that I'm going to die," she'd answered, only a hint of a tremor in her voice. "And the Dragonballs are gone, so I can't be wished back."_

"_That's right Pan. You're so brave, you know that?" Dr. Alcott had replied, squeezing her to him in a hug. _

"_No, I'm not. I cried because of a shot," she'd said, ashamed._

"_But you're going to die," her mom had cried out, sobbing. "And we can't bring you back!" And Pan had held her mother close, and her father had hugged them both._

"_Thanks," her father had said wearily, cheeks still stained with tears._

"_No, this is nothing to be thankful for. I want you to keep in touch, though. I will call you in to discuss the details later on, and please bring Mrs. Briefs and her husband. They might be able to help me understand how to fight this."_

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Her face twisted into a bitter imitation of a smile. Since then, only her grandpa and sensei had treated her normally. Everyone else believed she would break. Everyone else disapproved of her training still, pushing herself to ascend to Super Saiyan 2. They had never understood the pride she took in her training, and the pride of Vegeta that she was ill and still trained. They didn't understand the primal urge to fight that she had. Nobody understood except for the only two full-blooded Saiyans left. And they explained that everyone was complacent, and didn't believe that another enemy might arrive soon. But her, Goku, and Vegeta, they knew that danger was never far off, and they knew that this peace had lasted too long to be true. Ever since Omega Shenron and Baby, nothing major had happened. So something had to be coming soon, because this planet could never stay out of danger. And it would be something big, because all the new enemies had to be ominously omnipotent and ridiculously stronger than the others combined. And they were prepared for it. Vegeta had even claimed that she was more Saiyan than any other Saiyan-human hybrid. Goku knew that she would be the one training future generations when they were gone, and they were passing their knowledge to her every single day. And she was growing in power, despite her disease.


	2. Chapter 2

Me: So yet another update of Porcelain Doll, huh? Well, ME NO OWN DragonBall/Z/GT. Now for review replies.

**Ashley: You got your wish, the update is here. I'm glad you liked it~!**

** Jesse: Thanks! And I'm not entirely sure myself, but I have the basic idea.**

** Pein: Thanks for telling me that! I didn't know, sorry... That must have been really hard on you...**

Now, important info for the story

**1) Even though Pan is a Saiyan, she's only quarter, and her blood is very diluted, so she has enough human blood in her to be sucseptible to some human diseases. **

** 2) GT didn't happen; I hated it, so it went bye-bye in this fanfic. I mean, seriously, did you see how weird Vegeta looked? He had a mustache! NOT nice to look at.**

** 3) Ages.**

**Pan=18**

**Trunks=25**

**Bra=19**

**Goten=25**

**Marron=21**

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><p>"Pan, please come down here," her father called, concern in his voice.<p>

"Coming, daddy," she sighed. She loved him to death, but he didn't treat her like he had before. She missed her dad, the way he had been before she'd been diagnosed with leukemia. Smiling and happy, and always taking her out to play. But now, now he was solemn and worried, and he tried to keep her inside. Pan got out of her bed and headed down the stairs.

"Pan, we need to talk," her mother started, motioning for her to sit down. Pan merely looked at her in confusion, but complied.

"About what, mama?" she questioned, a bemused expression on her face.

"About your training," her father said, looking at her, worried.

"We think that it might not be the best thing for your health, Pan. Vegeta's very brutal with this, isn't he?" Videl told her, looking into her daughter's midnight eyes.

"What? No," Pan defended her teacher. "And I think the training is the only thing that's helping me live through the chemotherapy."

"Pan, does he make you bleed?" her father persevered.

"Sometimes, but it's hardly a scratch! There's barely any blood at all, and he's very careful! You can't take it away, you can't! This has taken everything away from me!" she cried out, angry.

"No, it hasn't Pan," her mom tried soothing her.

"Yes it has!" she continued, unable to control her emotions. "It's taken my family away, it's taken my life away, it stole my friends, and I won't let it take the last thing I have! I won't!"

"Pan, it hasn't taken us away, we're right here," Gohan said, confused by her statement.

"Everyone treats me different, except Vegeta-sensei and Grandpa Goku. You all treat me like I'm going to break at any moment," she said, silently daring them to contradict her statement.

"Well they should be treating you differently! And you're right; you can break at any moment!" Gohan exploded at her. Pan looked at him, anger seared into her soul.

"How could you say that?" she yelled, her ki rising rapidly.

"BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH!" Gohan shouted back, raising his energy to match hers.

"Then let me ask you this, daddy," she said quietly, powering down. "Would you lock me away in a tower to keep me safe, or would you let me live my life?"

"I would keep you safe, no matter what the cost," he replied, while his wife shook her head.

"Then I have nothing to say to you." She walked upstairs and began to toss clothes into a haphazard pile on her bed. She capsulized it, and then began making a pile of her personal items. When she was done, she walked back downstairs and out the door.

"Pan, what are you doing?" her father asked her, following her out into the yard.

"I'm moving out," she replied. "I will not let this leukemia rule my life."

"Pan," her mother called out. "Here. These are some job listings, some of your pills, and some addresses for apartments on sale." She handed her daughter the items before pulling her into a hug. "Be careful, Pan-chan."

"I will, mom. And I'll come visit; I promise." She gave Gohan a hug, and waved goodbye before flying off.

"Videl! You support this?" Gohan asked his wife incredulously.

"Yes, I do. She was right, you know. We've treated her differently ever since we found out about the sickness, and she's hated it. But we were too worried about her to care," Videl said the last sentence sadly.

"I know, but I just want to keep her safe. Is that so much to ask?" Gohan wondered, wrapping his wife in a loving, comforting embrace. Videl leaned into the hug.

"She still loves us, and she knows it was for her own good. But I think that I'd hate being treated like that, especially if I was the strongest woman on the planet," she mused. Gohan shook his head sadly.

"But she's still my baby girl," he said, downcast.

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

"Bulma, are you there?" Pan called as she descended onto the front lawn of Capsule Corp.

"Pan!" the blue haired woman replied, obviously surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I sort of left home, and I need a place to stay while I find a new place," she explained. "Would you mind if I stayed here until I find one?"

"Of course not! You know where your room is, so go ahead and make yourself at home," Bulma called behind her as she rushed to her lab.

"Thanks, Bulma," Pan said into the air; Bulma had dashed towards her lab already. She headed inside to her room, which was opposite the hall to Trunks'. Trunks… he had been her best friend, and then she had been diagnosed. Now, she barely saw him; he never came to visit, and if he didn't care about her, then why should she care about him? And when she did see him at parties, he always had a date; another one of those gold-digging sluts, and never even bothered to say "hi, how are you?" to her. She ignored him, and he ignored her, and everyone was mostly happy. But now, now she was sharing a house with him. How was she supposed to avoid him now? Maybe if he was out? He was 'busy', after all. Busy screwing one of his fake 'girlfriends', or out at a club getting a new one, she scoffed. And promptly ran straight into a…wall.

"That's funny, I don't remember a wall being there," she muttered, rubbing her head.

"Pan?" the wall asked incredulously.

"Walls can talk?" she asked, sounding like an idiot. Then she looked up to see a lavender haired man clad in a suit. "Oh, it's you."

"Why so disappointed?" he asked, teasing her.

"Many reasons, really," she shrugged, walking into her room.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" he followed her in.

"I left home, and I'm staying here until I find a place of my own," she uncapsulized her things and began sorting them.

"Oh," he said, feeling stupid. Of course she wasn't here to see him, he smacked himself mentally for even thinking that.

"Yep. So don't you have a meeting or something to go to, Trunks?" she asked nonchalantly, perfectly masking the emotional turmoil seeing him was causing within her.

"No…," Trunks replied, wondering how she could remain so calm while he was shaking on the inside.

"Really? But you're so busy these days, I assumed that's why you haven't visited or called or contacted me," she told him, a hint of anger in her voice.

"Yeah, I forgot, I have a presentation with a very important company," he lied quickly, rushing away.

"Bye," she said, slightly amused by his bad lying.

"Bye," he echoed, and she closed the door in his face. Trunks walked back into his room. He wasn't going to go to work today, and it's not like anything important was happening, anyway. He flopped down onto his bed, breathing deeply in a futile effort to calm himself. Pan was here, she was in his house, he realized, and his breath quickened. She was here, and he was here, and he'd see her every single day. He tried to keep his emotions from spiraling out of control. She hated him for abandoning her because of the cancer, he realized. But her hate was good, she'd leave him alone, and he'd leave her alone, and he wouldn't have to worry about being absolutely broken when she died, after all, if he distanced himself from her for long enough, she'd change, and then he wouldn't know her and then she'd be like a complete stranger. And you didn't cry hysterically at a complete stranger's funeral. He still remembered the day he'd found out about it….

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

_It was February 2__nd__, 2001. Pan's eighth birthday, and his mom was throwing a party at Capsule Corp. for her. He had been fourteen then, and very excited to see his friend. He didn't understand why Goten had been so sad, and had looked so depressed back then. Even Vegeta was smiling, and that was just plain odd in and of itself. _

_"They're here!" he yelled happily, after spotting the trio landing on the front lawn of Capsule Corp. He rushed out to greet them, followed by Bra and Bulma. Unusually though, Goten hung back on the sidelines. He'd dismissed it as Goten having a bad day and not wanting to socialize. But when he'd reached them, he knew intuitively that something was wrong. Gohan had looked like he had insomnia, but Trunks knew that he always slept well. And Videl looked as if she was on the verge of tears. But Pan, she had looked absolutely normal. But somehow, there was something off. She didn't seem as happy as she should have been. _

_"Pan!" Trunks cried out in joy, and rushed over to give her a hug for her birthday. And that's when he knew for sure that something was wrong. Sure, she hugged back happily, and smiled at him when he wished her happy birthday, but she felt so…skinny. Like a bag of bones, only just covered by her skin. And she looked paler than usual, and her eyes lacked their usual luster. And she was wearing a dress. Something was most definitely wrong. Did this have anything to do with Goten's depression? Maybe he was worried about her…_

_"What's wrong?" he'd asked her, concerned. _

_"Nothing," she had replied, forcing a smile. _

_"Happy birthday, Pan!" Bra had squealed in excitement, hugging her best friend._

_"Thanks, Bra," Pan had given her a real smile, but it didn't reach her eyes._

_"Pan, come on in!" his mom had led Pan to where everyone was lingering, waiting for her._

_"Happy birthday, Pan-chan!" they'd chorused. Tien, Yamcha, Master Roshi, Puar, Krillen, 18, Marron, even 17 was there, grinning like the rest of them. But the smiles never touched the faces of any of the Son's. Not even Goku's. What was going on here?_

_"Thanks everyone!" Pan had told them after they had cut the cake. _

_"And may you have many more!" he'd chimed in. At that statement, Videl and Chi-Chi had begun crying, and even Goten and Gohan looked like they were on the verge of joining them, and Goku just looked at Pan, a sad expression on his usually cheerful place. It looked as out of place as penguins in the Sahara desert. Trunks couldn't help wondering what he had done wrong to make them cry._

_"What's going on?" 17 had asked his sister. _

_"I don't know," she'd replied, walking over to Videl and giving her a comforting hug. "What's wrong?" she asked her friend._

_"Pan has leukemia," Videl had replied, sobbing into 18's shoulder. The android's eyes had widened, and even she had a few tears welling up in her eyes. Krillen had seen his wife's distress and rushed over. He overheard the whispered words, and looked shocked. _

_"B-But that's impossible!" he's stuttered. "She's a Saiyan!"_

_"Only quarter, though," Gohan had spoken. _

_"What's everyone crying about?" 17 had asked, confused because he still had no idea of what was going on. _

_"Pan had leukemia," Goten had said hollowly. Shock was the expression on their faces. Every single face. Marron and Bra had enveloped Pan in a bone-crushing embrace, as if to say, "no, she's ours and you can't have her". And he had just stood there, expression identical to Goten's. But Vegeta, Vegeta had a mixture of sadness and pride on his face as he looked at his pupil. She wasn't crying, and she had accepted it. Pan had untangled herself from Bra and Marron. _

_"Sorry," she said to everyone, and flew off, followed by Goten and Goku, who were always there to comfort her, no matter what._

!~!~!~!~!~!

They'd done his job that day. He should have been the one to hold her and comfort her and make her feel better. But instead he had just stood there in shock. And after that, every single one of her birthdays had been a bittersweet occasion. Happiness that she had survived, and bitterness because they were wondering if she would have another. And he had stopped seeing her, stopped calling and visiting her after that. Just like Marron. That was one of the only things they had in common, even though they were now dating. But Bra was a completely different story. She'd stuck with Pan, and was still good friends with her. At least now she knows who her true friends are, he reflected bitterly. Goku, Bra, my father, and 17.

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><p><span>Okay, well I hope you liked it! And reviews would be welcome!<span>


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Ah, another update, even if this was a long time between now and the last one. Sorry, guys... Now, clearly, I DON'T OWN. See, if I did, instead of a World Martial Arts Tournament, there would be huge drinking contest (why? it would be funnier). Hey, should I do a story with that...? And now review replies.

**Jasmine: I feel like I let you down...I took so long to update this one...But glad you liked it~!**

**Ally: Oh, she is not forgiving them easily! Pan is strong, not some weak person like Marron. Sorry for the bashing of Marron, I just don't like her... And yes, it is sad. But Trunks and Marron get what's coming to them~!**

**Pein: So very heartless...Marron indeed is heartless, as you shall see in this chapter. **

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><p>Pan smiled bitterly as Trunks left. She knew he had no meeting to attend, and she knew that he was thinking about her. <em>Good<em>, she thought. _Let him think about ho he abandoned me, and let him realize that he's never going to be forgiven for it. Not him, not Marron, not even Goten. They left me, and wallowed in their own misery that I was going to die, and they completely forgot about me; that I was the one dying. _She laughed, but it was hollow and bitter. Pan glanced at the clock. It was 8:34 P.M. _And I didn't even realize that much time had passed while I was unpacking. Well, I should know about time flying; I only have so much left, and so far, it's whooshed by faster than Vegeta can fly. _

"Pan, are you coming down for dinner?" a blue haired girl poked her head through the door.

"I am still part Saiyan after all," she gave her friend a genuine smile. "And I am my father's daughter and related to Goku, after all. They'd disown me if I even thought about skipping a meal."

"'If you say so," Bra laughed. "Personally, I don't think that they'd go to such extremes." She sat on the bed next to her best friend. "So you're living here now?"

"Well, temporarily, anyway. As soon as I find a house and a steady job, I'm out of your hair," Pan told her.

"Pan, you can stay here until you're two hundred and we won't complain. In fact, you might be the one getting sick of us!" Bra joked. "Dad will be happy to have his pupil here, I'm glad to have my best friend here, it would be like one giant sleepover for us, Mom's really glad to see you, and Trunks…"

"Trunks is avoiding me 'cuz he doesn't want to get hurt when I die," Pan finished her statement.

"Well, he's gonna be the only one who's complaining," Bra revised.

"Dinner?" Pan asked, holding back a grin.

"Come on," Bra dragged her friend down the stairs and into the dining room, where the stony face of Vegeta, the happy face of Bulma, the grinning face of Marron, and the guilt-ridden face of Trunks awaited them.

"Onna, after you eat I expect to see you in the gravity room," the ever frigid Vegeta said gruffly. He'd really changed and softened up since coming to Earth, according to her grandpa.

"Of course, Vegeta-sensei," she replied, sitting down next to Bra, which just so happened that she was next to Trunks as well. She inwardly smirked at the expression of pure shock on his face.

"You're still training?" he asked in disbelief.

"Of course," she replied. "I'm not letting this get in the way of me ascending to Super Saiyan 2."

"You've ascended to Super?" Trunks asked, even more shocked than before.

"Obviously," she rolled her eyes at him. "Pass the gravy, Veggie-sensei?" He passed her the gravy, and smirked at his son's reaction to the revelation of Pan's strength.

"Pan, are you sure you should be training? I mean with the leukemia and all…," Marron trailed off at the sight of Pan's ferocious glower.

"I don't think that you should tell me what to do, Marron. It's my body, my life, and I will decide its limits and what to do with it," Pan told her ex-friend icily. Marron fell silent, not expecting this answer, and Vegeta had a proud gleam in his eyes because of that answer. She was strong, his pupil, and he knew that she would never give up her heritage, no matter what.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," Marron murmured.

"Really? Then where were you when I needed a friend? Because Grandpa Goku, Vegeta-sensei, and Bra were the only ones that stuck by me, and 17 was the only one willing to come near me and comfort me after you left, Goten was there too, but not as much as they were," Pan spat out angrily.

"I'm sorry," Marron whimpered, tears coming to her eyes.

"Well, it's a bit too late for that, don't you think?" Vegeta spoke, a sardonic smile on his face. It was as if Pan's very presence spurred him to voice his dislike for Marron.

"And you should have been there for her. I was there, hell, I helped her through the chemo, and I can safely say that me and 17 have seen Pan at her worst," Bra snapped at Marron. "Well, at least you and my brother are suited to each other for that; you both abandoned a friend in need."

"Bra, how can you say that?" Trunks' initial shock at Pan's outburst had faded away to anger at how his family was insulting his fiancée. "Marron is going to be part of this family, and you need to get over that fact."

"Bra was right, you two are suited to each other," Pan laughed. "And you'll see what's going to happen to that thing you call a relationship! But don't come to me for anything, Trunks Vegeta Briefs, don't ever come to me for help again!" She continued laughing, and was joined by Vegeta and Bra, who knew exactly what was going on. Even Bulma cracked a smile at the sight; her husband and her daughters laughing at what was to happen to her clueless son, who should have seen the signs already. Even Goten had seen them, and Goten was, well, Goten. But Trunks, he was completely blind to what was going on.

"What did you mean 'that thing' we call a relationship?" Trunks asked, utterly bemused. "And why are you laughing?"

"Trunks, honey, why don't we go to a restaurant for dinner?" Marron suggested, draping herself onto Trunks.

"Yes, let's go," he replied absentmindedly, glaring at those still seated at the table for being so rude to his fiancée. But Pan, Pan especially, her eyes were bright with laughter, and it was real laughter, not the fake laughs she used to hide underneath. The sight of her entranced him, he was captured by her midnight eyes and full lips and the glorious sound of her carefree laughter. He reveled in it. It had been so long since he had seen her laugh like this, and so long since he had laughed for real himself. He sighed at the memories; it seemed like Pan's leukemia had sucked the life out of everyone, but not her. She was still fighting for herself. She was still the same, had the same spark in her eyes as before, albeit it was slightly dimmed, but it was there nevertheless. The same couldn't be said for him, though.

"Trunks, let's go," Marron tugged on his arm, effectively bringing him back to reality. He let her pull him to the car, and when he drove to the restaurant, her eyes and laughter haunted his thoughts.

!~!~!~!~!~!

"Mom, I feel kind of bad for not letting Trunks know the truth," Bra said, slightly ashamed of her laughter.

"I don't," Pan announced, her cheeks glowing with life and vitality. If Bra hadn't known that Pan was sick, she wouldn't have been able to tell. "He abandoned me, and so did she. It's their turn now." Vegeta laughed at this; his student was definitely a Saiyan for saying that.

"Pan's right, and besides, Trunks should have seen it before. It's been happening for months, you know. And all the signs are right there in front of him," Bulma pointed out.

"My brother must really be blind; even Goten spotted it immediately," Bra sighed and lazily toyed with a strand of her bright blue hair, winding it around her index finger. "But we're his family, shouldn't we be there to look out for him?"

"The brat needs to learn on his own, too. And he has been adamantly insisting we leave him alone," Vegeta said around mouthfuls of delicious food.

"Exactly," Pan shrugged. "If he says, 'Leave me alone', then leave him alone, and if he feels abandoned afterwards, he can only blame himself. It's not your fault that he's incapable of living on his own. This is really good, Bulma." Pan continued to eat the food before her.

"Thank you, Pan," Bulma replied, beaming happily.

"Wait, you cooked this?" Vegeta immediately stopped eating.

"Of course!" Bulma smiled at her husband. Vegeta paled and ran to the bathroom, waiting for the upchucking to begin. "Indirectly, anyway."

"The robots?" Pan asked.

"Yep!" Bulma chuckled, and the three remaining at the table laughed at Vegeta's antics and unnatural fear of Bulma's food.


	4. Chapter 4

Me: Sorry about the slow update, writer's block was there, so thank the Black Veil Brides for snapping me out of it~! I don't own. Enough said. So onto the review replies, oki?

**Son Goshen: Yeah, it was light and happy...Gald you liked it! Sorry, I can't deal with the depressing stuff throughout every chapter. It's just not my thing.**

**Ally: Well she has to do something, Pan is a warrior and Marron is a weakling! Glad that made you feel better. And yes, the moron is too stupid to see anything. And I gotz some stuff based off Marron cheating on him; it would be where Trunks starts to get super mad at himself and such. =) I just looove emotionally tormented characters, so fun to write~! And of course Trunks is begging. He should APOLOGIZE AND GROVEL! And YAY for Marron bashing!**

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><p>"Shut up," Pan mumbled, glaring at her blaring alarm with sleep heavy eyes. The insolent thing continued its infernal noise, and she shot a ki blast at it, effectively shutting the irritating thing off. "Finally," she sighed, turning back to her pillow.<p>

"I always knew you weren't a morning person, but this is just plain unexpected," a voice called out from her open window, a note of laughter embedded in it.

"17!" her face broke out into a breathtaking smile, eyes lighting up with delight and joy, two emotions only a handful of people could bring out in the young quarter Saiyan.

"Who else would it be? Does Pan-chan have a secret lover? Well, either way, I know they're no match for me," the dark haired android smirked at his friend, loving every minute of their teasing banter. "Come on, Pan. We've got things to do."

"Let me grab breakfast and shower first, and I'll meet you in about an hour," Pan suggested, lazily stretching, enjoying the feel of her bones popping and cracking.

"Sure thing, Pancake," the android grinned. "I'll be downstairs." He hopped off the windowsill and neatly landed onto the front lawn of Capsule Corp. Pan rolled her eyes at his antics, but got up to shower all the same.

As the warm water cascaded down her shoulders, she couldn't help but smile. Her and 17's unlikely friendship had shocked everyone, after all, what had spurred the reclusive android to reach out to a young girl with cancer? But he had all the same, and was one of her closest friends. One of her only friends, though. Pan frowned at the thought. She would not brood over Trunks abandoning her when she needed him most. He'd shown her what kind of friend he was, and she didn't need him for anything. She would think about her true friends, and she wouldn't mope over Trunks. She'd done enough of that before. Besides, she didn't need friends who suddenly left her when the going got tough.

The water suddenly turned icy, shocking her out of her thoughts. She glared at the showerhead, but sighed and cut off the flow of water anyway. Pan dressed quickly in ripped skinny jeans and a T-shirt, and haphazardly put on her trademark orange bandana, refusing to allow herself to mull over Trunks' failing relationship with Marron, and their failed friendship. Pan closed her eyes and cleared her mind, a relaxation trick her grandpa had taught her. She took a deep breath to center herself and walked out of her room, grabbing her iPod from its place on her dresser.

"Finally," 17 greeted her as she descended the stairs. "Come on, I want to show you and Bra something." Her friend was practically bouncing with excitement over whatever it was, so it had to be something interesting.

"Eat first," Bra told him, snatching a plate loaded with pancakes.

"You Saiyans," 17 rolled his icy eyes, but had a smile on his face, which disappeared into a grimace as he caught sight of the person on the stairs.

"Us Saiyans what, 17?" Trunks raised an eyebrow, his tone arrogant. "Are stronger than you and can kick your ass?" He let his disdain and contempt for the android seep into his voice.

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'you, Saiyan, are nothing but an outsider', Trunks," 17 said nonchalantly.

"But with the way you let yourself go, I think your statement's wrong, Mr. Briefs," Pan smirked. Trunks felt a pang of pain at the way she addressed him. Well, its not like he deserved any better, and he had asked for it, after all. But it still hurt to be addressed so formally by none other than Pan. She'd had no problem calling him Trunks, or Boxer Boy, or Mushroom Head, or the Purple Sparkly Fairy.

He tensed at the flood of memories washing through him; Pan on her fifth birthday, she in a dress and he in an uncomfortable suit. He could still recall how Pan's smile had immediately chased away the discomfort of being in the suit.

"You have a point there, Pan," 17 said, his ever superior and demeaning smirk on his face, the one that could give his father a run for his money. How was Pan friends with an asshole like him? How were they so close? Some days, he just wanted to rip the androids head off and wipe that smug smile off his face. Then again, Goku and Vegeta seemed to get along rather well, even though his father often wanted to beat Goku senseless.

"In fact," the android drawled, "he and Marron are both suited for each other completely. They have about the same power level, too." Pan laughed, actually laughed, at the insult. Her laughter made her face brighter, and her eyes sparkled with that familiar light. Too bad he wasn't one of the people who could bring that spark of life back into her. How he missed the time when he and Pan were best friends, when they told each other everything, when _he_ was the one bringing the light into her eyes, not that bastard 17.

"Well, 17, that means that you're weaker than Marron, because I can still kick your ass," Trunks narrowed his eyes at the android, who still had that superior smirk on his face.

"You sure about that?" 17 raised an eyebrow.

"Don't fight in the house, Mom will kill you," Bra warned the two males.

"Trunks, honey, we have to go," Marron's sickly sweet voice called out.

"Yes, honey, you have to go," 17 mocked Trunks, unable to resist an opportunity to rile up the half Saiyan. Really, the fairy deserved it for abandoning Pan. Trunks glared at 17 and stalked outside, leaving Pan and Bra in fits of giggles.

In Pan's opinion, Trunks deserved every insult, every smartass comment he got from 17. After all, traitors shouldn't have friends. Then again, Trunks had only ever had two real friends: Pan and Goten. But now, Pan was gone, and Goten barely had time for Trunks; he was so absorbed in his monthly fling. And Trunks was surrounded by gold digging whores and money grubbing morons, none of whom knew him. Pan would pity Trunks, but considering what he did, he was getting no sign of friendship; to outsiders, their relationship would look like that of two distant acquaintances.

"So, Pan-Pan, what do you want to do today?" 17 asked, snatching a muffin from the fridge.

"Didn't you have to show us something?" Bra asked quizzically.

"Yeah, but Mushroom Head ruined my mood," 17 shrugged. "No shopping though." Bra's face immediately wilted.

"How about we head to the island?" Pan suggested, referring to a deserted island she and 17 had found while racing each other. It had been their hangout ever since.

"Sure," Bra shrugged noncommittally.

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Pan stared at the waves rolling onto the shore. She tilted her head back, letting the rays of the sun hit her face. Pan wished that she hadn't been diagnosed; she would still be able to have fun, and she'd still have her friends, and she wouldn't be treated like something fragile by everyone. But then again, she met 17 because of the cancer, and he turned out to be a better friend than Trunks ever was. And Pan was having fun with her life; she still sparred with Vegeta and went on the occasional shopping trip with Bra. Goku and Pan were closer than ever, and she was so close to achieving the elusive Super Saiyan 2. And she hadn't relapsed since the chemotherapy, so she was probably cured.

But they didn't see that, they saw a sick girl who refused to admit she was ill. They saw a doll that needed to be protected, locked away in a tower forever to be kept safe. They saw a little brat who didn't know what was good for her. They saw her humanity, and ignored her Saiyan blood. They saw a weak girl, not a warrior who had achieved Super Saiyan, and that was what hurt the most.


	5. Chapter 5

Me: *sigh* It has been so long...And thanks for the favs/alerts for this story!

Vegeta: Yes, yes it has.

Me: Shut up. I am not feeling well.

Goku: Why Painted-chan? 

Me: I looked at Robert Pattinson's face...I'm really not feeling well, so can you take the disclaimer for me? *goes to lie down* (dead serious about this though. no offense to those who like him)

Goku: She doesn't own DBZ or the unnamed island, got it? But she does own a picture of me she's using for project for Earth Science~!

Vegeta: What? I'm not in it. I must speak to her.

Review replies:

Jasmine: Fixed it. Thanks for telling me, by the way~

Ayaka86: Eeep~! Never thought this would be so big a hit! And if you like this one, you're gonna love this story called Thirty Minutes to Heartbreak. Trust me, it is amazing~!

Son Goshen: Thank you! And yeah, 17's awesome.

TP4Life: Darling, he's dating Marron. What do you expect? He has turned into a marshmallow. And hell yeah Pan's strong! Cancer's not gonna get in her way.

Ally: Thank you! I'm glad you like how I wrote 17, I was kinda having a hard time with it, but here goes nothing, yeah? And yes, they need to know who is boss here, and that is PAN! Thank you for reviewing~

iiloveyouhhx3: O.O I can feel the love~! *blushes* Thanks for the compliments~! And I had to add in somethign weird, it wouldn't be me if I didn't.

hot4dbz: Thank you, I tried really hard for that. I mean, Pan's strong, and she is gonna be herself no matter what! And I completely agree with your statement. But if they got lost there would be no angst, now would there? And no you're not clueless, but I'm not giving it away now but I may have in a different chapter...not too sure but whatevs. It shall be revealed soon. AND THANK YOU for adding me to favs/alerts~ It really means a lot to me ^^

Nessa671: Done.

Loonybin: Thanks, and update here.

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><p>Trunks simply sat there, on the island, at loss for words. Because what words described seeing his best friend with her new friends, those who had replaced him? What could describe the swirl of emotions in him? He couldn't even begin to understand it.<p>

There was Pan, with her eyes that weren't quite onyx or chocolate, but a mix in between, and looking radiant as she laughed. Ripped jeans, a random T-shirt, and of course her bandana, she glowed. But she shouldn't be glowing, he thought. She shouldn't be happy, or laughing, because it's all gone horribly wrong, and she's dying and he knows it and they all know it but pretend it's going to be all right, right?

17, Bra, even Pan, they pretend like everything is normal, like she isn't sick; isn't dying. Like she isn't living on a clock ticking backwards, as if they have nothing to worry about.

But here, he realized they don't. In this place of sunsets that are swirls of vibrant colors that light the sky ablaze, of turquoise waters that shine and glitter like gemstones and reflect the crimson light of the dying sun, of palm trees swaying in the evening wind, they don't.

They are not Pan and Bra and 17. They aren't the reclusive android being judged, or the fashion queen shedding silver tears in the moonlight, or the girl whose body is dying but whose spirit will eternally blaze free. They simply exist as people, the same yet so different. Pan and Bra are joyous, drunk on them being themselves, and 17 simply smiles at his two friends, his only friends, and thinks life isn't so bad. Because he's not being judged, and he doesn't need to hide behind barriers of cold eyes and cynical sarcasm. They accept him and he accepts them and they know each other, and that's all there is.

Trunks doesn't know how they got so close, when they got so close. He doesn't understand how they grew apart. Because when he drifted away from Pan, he drifted away from his family. Because, he tells himself, he needs to face the facts. His father thinks Marron is a weakling, but he loves her. His mother has been despondent, but she and Vegeta do all they can to help Pan. He doesn't remember when he stopped trying. Bra has been ostracizing him for abandoning Pan, and they barely speak. He never speaks to Pan either, avoiding her. He doesn't know when he started.

And then there's his other family, the ones he's not related to by blood but wishes he was. Goku has always been cheerful, but now he smiles less, and simply glares at Trunks, trying to conceal his anger. He wishes Goku would beat him up. He deserves it. Chi-Chi has never spoken to him since, always worried about Pan. He wonders when he stopped worrying. Videl and Gohan are stressed and angry, but they try their best to care for her. He's not sure when he stopped trying. Goten is most definitely unhappy, and sees him less often, he is busy. Trunks is busy. Because seeing Goten means seeing Pan most of the time, and he doesn't want that. Trunks doesn't know when he stopped crying for Pan. He doesn't know why he stopped, only that he did.

Trunks blinks several times before he realizes he was crying. And then he thinks that it is good that he's crying, because the scene on the beach is beautiful and breathtaking and heartwrenching all at once. Because Pan and Bra and 17 and all curled up in a blanket, watching the sunset, perfectly content, and it hurts him to know that they are happy simply with each other on this island where they are not defined.

More tears slide down his face as he sees them laughing, and with a jolt, he realizes he hasn't cried in years. But now he started, he can't stop. Trunks Briefs cries his heart out silently under the bleeding sky on fire, on an island that is beautiful and undefined, unnoticed by those on the beach.

He cries for Pan like he should have before, he cries for his father, who has never done so before. Trunks cries for Goten and Gohan and Videl and Bra and 17 and everybody else who will miss Pan. Everyone whose lives she touched, even for the briefest moments, because she can change people in a moment, in a second, with a single look, or a slight accidental touch.\

And when his tears run out, he just stands there, on the cliff silhouetted by the now red sun, and looks at what he has missed and always longed for but has never had since he stopped doing everything with feeling. He thinks that description fits well as he gazes at the setting sun, thinking about things lost and to come.

Pan looks at the sun and sees a day dying, but a new day beginning at the same time. An eternal cycle of light and dark and life and death, but not in the way people think. Death is life and dark can be light, and she knows this more than anyone except maybe her grandpa, because he has died many times already and been brought back to life.

Bra looks at the sun and thinks that it is beautiful, yet heartbreakingly sad at the same time. She thinks that maybe the sun and the moon are terribly sad and yearning. Bra is a romantic, and she imagines their story as a myth. The sun and moon were once lovers, but their love was forbidden. When their King found out, he cursed them to be forever apart, being close yet unbearably far at the same time. So the sun was day and the moon was night and they chased each other for eons, neither seeing the other and longing to do so. Because Bra is a romantic, and she likes to get carried away in fantasy.

17 looks at the sun and believes in the science behind it. A hot ball of gas undergoing nuclear fusion. He knows what it is, but here there seems to be something amazingly beautiful about this science. Something undefined, something wild that captivates him, and he simply lives in the moment, wishing it would last forever.

Trunks is the first to come out of the spell cast by the beauty of this place. Night has fallen, and somehow, it is even more wonderful in the shadows of the night than it is in the day. The element of mystery is still there, only its presence grows undeniably stronger. It pulls him in, but he resists and knows he must leave. Trunks feels that he has desecrated something sacred, betrayed some trust, trespassed somewhere. He feels unwelcome.

So he launches himself into the cool night air, unable to prevent himself from looking back one more time. He can barely see the island's silhouette now, and he flies faster.

He doesn't notice the pair of onyx but not quite onyx eyes boring into his retreating back, only seeing a dark figure in the sky.


	6. Chapter 6

Me: OMG AN UPDATE! WOOOHOOOO! Wait, I'm not supposed to be surprised...whoops~

Vegeta: Author, I am saying the disclaimer.

Me: No, no you're not.

Vegeta: I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS! How dare you defy me!

Me: Well I'm not a Saiyan, and btw, your empire consists five people, excluding yourself. Just saying. Now, Goku, will you do the honors?

Goku: *nods* Painted-chan doesn't own Dragon Ball Z/GT/Kai!

Me: And now for review replies~!

**pannychan731: OMG congrats~! LOL well I'm happy for you, even though I don't want a boyfriend myself. And yes, me being a girl. So yeah, it's kinda weird...but I am odd...now back to the story/review! And so glad you loved that! Personally, 17's thing with the sun is my fav, but Bra's I like too~!**

**Son Goshen: OMG thanks for the congrats~! And sorry for the slow update!**

**Ayaka86: Thanks! And that one is waay better than mine by far, but still glad ya like this one~!**

**Ally: YES! I know right! Yeah, I kinda hate Trunks too, and I'm only the author, so imagine how THEY must feel, right! And thanks for the compliment on 17, but I think writing him has affected me; I took a DBZ personality test and ended up as him...O.O**

**hot4dbz: O.O no way it was that good! I'm sorry I almost made you cry, but literally glowing about the compliment! Thank you so much! And yeah, the whole relationship is gonna be super complicated here, but you are right. But it's gonna come clear in the next chapter.**

Me: Well I'm gonna shut up now, but first: I haven't done my research on cancer, the extent was rereading My Sister's Keeper and crying about it, so if I am wrong, do correct me! And I apologize in advance for it. But I'm gonna do research after this, cuz her leukemia comes more into play in the following chapters. Adieu!

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><p>Pan lay in her new bed, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Her eyes looked at the surface, watching the moonlight play with the shadows on it. She turned over, now facing sideways on her bed, which was soft and comfortable, but it felt…wrong somehow.<p>

She'd think homesickness was the reason she couldn't sleep, but her mind kept drifting back to the dark figure she'd seen flying from the island, into the bloodred sunset. Pan couldn't place it, but there was something familiar about it, even though she hadn't seen the person's face. The mystery figure sent a twinge of unease ringing through her, but she dismissed it as simple nausea; she hadn't been feeling well since they had gotten back from the island.

Pan sighed, running a shaking hand through her short hair, sitting up. She couldn't take it any longer, she needed to get up and cool off. So Pan stood up and put on her training gi, stubbornly not caring that it was around two in the morning; she couldn't sleep, and maybe training would tire her out.

It was good reasoning, she thought, tucking her hair behind her ears as she opened the door. Pan looked around; all was still, all was quiet. Her dark eyes flicked towards the staircase, gauging the distance between here and there. She stealthily padded down the hallway, but when she accidentally stepped on a creaky board on the hardwood floor and the sound echoed throughout the empty house, causing a moment of panic where she thought everyone would wake up and demand she get back into bed, Pan decided to simply float down.

She gently slid the glass door open, and stepped onto the spacious grounds of Capsule Corp., now bathed in moonlight. Pan looked up at the moon, a sliver of silver-white light in the sky, and saw the faint outline of the dark side of the moon. Earthlight, she recalled. Trunks had told her that the Earth reflected sunlight too, and onto the moon. It was beautiful, but Pan reminded herself that she was here to train a little, tire herself out, not to get caught up in nostalgia.

She brought herself back to Earth, looking around at the slivery glazed yard that held so many memories for her. Her birthdays…the first time she'd met Trunks, Marron, and Bra. The first time she trained with Vegeta, helping Bulma cook for the barbeque she hosted every year, and even fight Goten for her food. She smiled dreamily, savoring those sweet memories.

Still half lost in nostalgia, Pan began to warm up, throwing punches and kicks at an imaginary opponent. She was silent, for fear of awakening everyone else, but, as the time trickled by and she remained undisturbed, Pan began to fire a few small ki blasts into the sky. Soon, she was lost in the rhythms of her own body, and that of her imaginary opponent who was maybe Trunks or Vegeta or Goku or Goten or maybe it was her dad, or perhaps none of them or maybe all of them, oblivious to the outside world.

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Trunks sighed, eyes sliding closed. He couldn't sleep, he hadn't been able to since Pan had been diagnosed. He rubbed his tired eyes and stood up; the pills weren't working tonight, music wasn't working, and he'd just finished a cup of chamomile tea, which wasn't working either.

He threw his hands up in a gesture of silent frustration as he stood up, throwing open the curtains and the windows of his room in hope that maybe fresh air would help him get to sleep. What he saw outside froze him, paralyzed him. Trunks peered out the window, rubbing his eyes to check if this was a trick his tired, insomnia ridden mind was playing on him.

But it wasn't, he realized, eyes widening and sleepiness driven away. It was what he thought it was; Pan training, punching, kicking, dodging, blocking, and even pretending to be hit. Trunks simply stared; it was entrancing, a dance of grace and beauty that only she knew. Once he knew it too, and once he had been her partner, but now, he had forgotten the steps, forgotten it all. His eyes stung with tears unshed, tears in regret of what he once had.

Suddenly, he knew what he needed to do, but it was more of a subconscious reaction. He stood up and raced downstairs, taking care to be quiet, but all the same not caring who heard him. When he reached the sliding door, he hesitated for a moment, unsure, but the moment passed and he slid it open, standing in the gleaming moonlight.

Instantly, Trunks was hypnotized, mesmerized. The moonlight added a sheen to her hair; her pale skin glowed, and her movements seemed more graceful now than ever. Hesitantly, he stepped forward, but she didn't notice him, still wrapped up in her fight, which made him smile slightly. He took another step forward, and the timing was just so that she collided with him on a particularly brilliant back flip turned into a kick aimed at the enemy's head; one of Gogeta's moves.

Stunned, Trunks fell backwards onto the springy lawn; morning dew beginning to form, with Pan landing sprawled on top of him. Momentarily dazed, they stared into each other's eyes, neither really registering the other's presence. But the spell dissolved, and Pan blushed, pink dusting against pale, round cheeks, as she quickly scooted backwards, so that she wasn't lying down on top of Trunks, who offered her a slight smile before standing up, wincing.

"I think that may bruise," he told her, gingerly poking his side while offering her a hand. Pan stood up, ignoring the hand, and dusted the grass off of her gi.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, glaring, all traces of the blush gone.

"I saw you training," he explained, rubbing the base of his neck and offering a conciliatory smile.

"And?" she raised an eyebrow, not trusting his explanation at all.

"And can I join?" he asked, suddenly nervous, although he was unsure why.

"Just stay out of my way," Pan told him, turning away. Once her back was turned, she frowned to herself, wondering why she'd accepted in the first place. Trunks smiled triumphantly, happy to be in her life, albeit a small part it was. He began to throw punches and kicks, carefully controlling each one.

After about five minutes or so, he stopped, enjoying the burn in his muscles, the one only training could cause. It had been so long, he thought to himself, staring up at the moon, which grinned down at him, a Cheshire Cat grin. The only thing missing were the two, green, slitted eyes. As his eyes adjusted to the night sky, he could make out constellations; the Little Dipper, the Big Dipper, Orion, Signus…but he couldn't find his favorite, the constellation Andromeda.

"It's over there," Pan pointed out quietly, having sat down and joined him.

"Oh," he said, at a loss for words. He'd always loved the story behind it, and once he'd told Pan, she'd loved it too. Suddenly he found himself wondering if she still loved it, if her favorite color was still orange, if she still hated shopping as much as before.

"Ugh," she groaned, resting her head in her hands.

"Are you okay?" Trunks asked immediately, concern flaring up for her.

"I'm…fine?" she said, the phrase ending in a question as she lifted her hand, only to see blood there. Pan looked up at him, eyes wide, as a trail of crimson dripped down from her nose. Suddenly, she turned away, and vomited a fountain of blood.

"PAN!" he screamed, reaching for her. Pan looked at him blearily, the last thing she saw was Trunks reaching for her, his face contorted in an expression of fear and horror. She tried to form the comforting words that would reassure him, but her head spun and her world went black.

"PAN!" his scream rent the night air. "PAN!"


	7. Chapter 7

Me: O.M.G. Is it just me or has it been WAY too long?

Vegeta: THAT IS BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN!

Goku: Painted-chan~

Me: ^.^

Vegeta: I am not at all sorry to interrupt your joy fest, but get on with it.

Goku: Meani-poof.

Me: Mhmm.

Vegeta: Kakarot what the hell is a 'meani-poof'?

Goku: Painted-chan doesn't own DBZ. I win.

Vegeta: O.o *LE MAD!* GET OVER HERE YOU CLOWN! *CHASES GOKU*

Me: HA~ In your face Meani-Poof!

Trunks: Why is Daddy Meani-Poof chasing Goku!

Vegeta: Boy! Do not call me that!

Me: Okay, after that touching family moment, let's move on to the review replies before somebody gets seriously hurt...

**hot4dbz: I'm glad you liked the AN xD~ And yes, you're absolutely right! But remember, he still with Moron...um typo...Marron...ANYWAY-you're still right; he has to do that. He misses her, but he's out of touch with the big picture. And even in this chapter, when they have their baby steps to friendship again, you can see his skewed version of things. (17's there for a reason xD)**

**Lovin' Fanfiction: Okay, I have updated! SOWWY FOR TAKING SO LONG!**

**iiloveyouhhx3: Mission accomplised. =)**

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><p>"How long has he been sitting there?" a hushed whisper reached his ears. The man opened bleary blue eyes, no longer bright and happy, but dead and tired. He didn't move, didn't show that he'd heard anything. Nothing mattered anymore; it all went over his head.<p>

The words spun around his mind, sometimes lazily floating by, but sometimes attacking him and buzzing in his head like a swarm of angry bees. He saw the world through blurred and cracked vision, uncaring mind.

"Trunks." He looked up in response to his name, eyes half-lidded. Bulma shuddered, he looked like he was in hell, burning, suffering. That look in his eyes…, she wanted to cry. Her son looked like he was being tortured, but she could do nothing to help him. But she had to help Pan, too. When did everything become such a mess? Bulma wondered, closing her eyes for a moment. No, I can't worry about then, I need to be in the now. "Get some rest, Trunks."

"I can't," Trunks said. His voice was cracked and hoarse from crying and lack of use. "What if she wakes up and-and I'm not here?"

17 paused at the door to Pan's room. Icy eyes narrowed at these words, and began to fill with a rage he had not felt in years. His mouth curled into a contemptuous smirk. He opened to door, stepping out, fully ready to deck the purple-haired asshole in the face. Well, 17 was always ready to deck Trunks in the face, but now more so than usual. That purple retard had it coming. If he wasn't there when she woke up? Oh, please. He hadn't been there for years, over 10 years he hadn't been there when she woke up! And NOW he's concerned? I wonder why? Could it be that hell has frozen over and Trunks has grown a heart? Or maybe Vegeta knocked some sense into him. Then again, 17 reconsidered, if that had happened, the purple thing wouldn't be alive.

But then he saw Trunks. His purple hair, normally preened to perfection, was in a hellish disarray. Dark half-moons encircled his eyes; even 17 was shocked, stunned by the dead look in his them. The half-Saiyan couldn't even bring himself to argue with the android on sight.

"How is she?" Trunks asked, barely audible. He swallowed dryly, running a shaking hand through his hair. Trunks was praying to anything, anybody, who would listen for Pan to live. _Please, just one more day, some more time. So we can be friends again, so we can make amends. I want a second chance, no, I need one. Please, let Pan live._

"The same," 17 replied, poorly concealed hatred and disgust in his voice. "Why are you here?" The unspoken 'now' lingered in the air between the two, fueling the tension between them.

"She can't die." He states simply in response. "I can't lose her…" Trunks trailed off at the pure anger in 17's eyes.

"Why? You, Trunks," 17 spat his name out as if it were the vilest poison, "weren't here before. You left her, abandoned her when she needed you the most! And you can't lose her? Briefs, you don't even know her anymore! Please! You are nothing but a selfish, spoiled, little boy who can't even do anything by himself!" He paused, taking a breath, but the fire in his eyes never dimmed. "You left her to protect yourself from being hurt, but did you ever consider how Pan was feeling? She's the one dying after all, not you." The android's voice cracked on the last sentence, and Trunks looked up to see tears pooling in his eyes. Shock ran through him, cold arcs of electricity that jolted him into awareness.

17 turned and walked back into Pan's room, Bra waiting for him at the door. She gave her brother a glare and retreated inside, locking the door. Trunks blinked, the android's tears and expression still settling over him. Pan had touched him in a way nobody else had before, that much was clear. And he was one of her best friends now. Trunks felt another pang of sadness, echoing and resonating deeper within him. He'd been replaced by an android.

But 17's words filled him with a heart-wrenching despair that he couldn't push away, couldn't put out of his mind. It weighed him down and filled his heart with lead. He tasted metal in his mouth, and heard the screeching of nails on a chalkboard.

They had kept their vigil for as long as he had, Trunks observed. No, longer. Because 17, that damned android, was right. He'd left Pan, abandoned her. But I can't do that, I can't keep running. Trunks shut his eyes, and shuddered. And hated himself.

"I'm a monster," he whispered, his voice cracking and his hands shaking. "How could I have done that?" For the second time in as many days, Trunks found himself crying purging tears of sorrow. I must have ripped her apart…no wonder she hates me now. I left her alone because I didn't want to get hurt, and I never considered Pan. 17 is right, he thought miserably. Even in the obscure chance that she forgives me, it's not gonna be the same. It never will be. Pan won't trust me again, not like she did before. I've lost something that can never be replaced, never be fixed.

"It's not your fault," a voice behind him said. Trunks looked up automatically, not really caring. _Your fault…your fault_…the words lingered in his mind, sinuously echoing there; joining the host of other words that bounced around his head, tormenting him.

Trunks closed his eyes, head in his hands. It is, though, he so desperately wanted to say. How could it not be? He looked up at Goku with tormented, blazing eyes, seeking for any answer. The Saiyan sighed, scratching the back of his neck in a gesture so familiar Trunks could almost have laughed. Almost, maybe in a set of different circumstances.

"Trunks…," he said, dark eyes so much like Pan's, only full of life that she should have. "I can't say that she will forgive you. I can't promise that it's going to be okay, no matter how much I want it to be. But I'm telling you, you need to try to make amends." Goku looked at him with a childish earnestness, yet with an adult's commanding but reassuring tone.

"I need to try…but what if she hates me even more?" he whispered the insecurity that has been eating at him since he saw her at Capsule Corp. Dende, that seemed ages ago. Eons, not days, not weeks. So much longer than it actually was.

"Come on," Goku guided him to Pan's room. When did I stand up? Trunks wondered, but didn't protest. "Go on in." Trunks gave him a questioning glance as Goku sank down into a chair in the waiting room. The warrior gave him a slight half-smile, encouraging, but it did not quell the tremors of fear going through him.

"Trunks," 17 snarled out, cyanic eyes coming to life in a blazing fire. He stood up, ready for a confrontation, but Trunks ignored the android. He wasn't important right now. Pan was. Bra looked at him, not judging, but he knew she was ready to kick him out if he upset Pan. No, he corrected himself. 17 will kill me if I upset her, and my father isn't going to do jack to stop him.

"I don't know how to do this," he muttered, closing his eyes, furrowing his brow.

"Well you haven't had much practice," the android replied, clearly baiting him. His relaxed posture belied the rage and hatred contained in his expression of perfect, porcelain features.

"Can I just…sit here?" Trunks asked, looking up at 17 and his sister for permission. "Just for a little while."

"Come on 17." Bra tugged gently at the other, nudging him towards the door. "I don't like Trunks for abandoning Pan, hell, I'm pretty close to hating him. But he's trying to make amends, and I think we need to respect that."

"Bra-," he began hotly, but his rage faded at the look on her face. He took a breath, vainly trying to calm himself. "We'll be right outside. Don't hurt her anymore."

With that, the door closed, and Trunks was left alone with Pan, for the first time in years. And he did not know what to say, another first. I really don't know you anymore, he thought. And I can't blame anyone for that but myself.

But he opened his mouth anyways, unsure of how to begin. A light glimmer caught his eye; an iPod? He picked it up, fingers tracing the screen. No password…, he thought, unlocking it to her music. A song was paused. Curiously, he pressed play on the luminous touch screen. Evil Angel? Sounds interesting…

_**No, don't leave me to die here**_

_**Help me survive here alone**_

_**Don't surrender, surrender**_

_**Put me to sleep, evil angel**_

_**Open your wings, evil angel**_

_**Fly over me, evil angel**_

_**Why can't I breathe, evil angel?**_

_**Put me to sleep, evil angel**_

_**Open your wings, evil angel**_

_**Fly over me, evil angel**_

_**Why can't I breathe, evil angel…?**_

"Oh, Pan," he said, unable to form the words, as the last strains of music faded away. But the lyrics continued to haunt his mind, playing over and over. "Pan…"

!~!~!~!~!~!

_Pan was floating. The dark surrounded her, but pinpricks of light were scattered throughout it; enough that she felt she was not completely alone. The space around her was empty, but it did not feel cold and unwelcoming. Yet, there was something about this place of dreams that made her uneasy. _

_ "Hello?" she called. Pan's voice echoed around her, lingering in some places and barely audible in others. It was strange, to say the least. But it also sounded like she wasn't alone in this place seemingly devoid of all life. She looked around, but there was only emptiness. Pan couldn't sense any ki around her, but something, instinct, told her she wasn't alone. Vegeta's voice repeated in her mind, 'Trust your instincts, girl. They will never lead you wrong'. She remembered those words now; kept them in her mind as she observed the place. She repeated her cry even though she did not expect a response. For Pan sensed that there was something off about this place, a slight lingering of malevolence that made her unsure. _

_ A _whoosh _caught her attention as something bright flew past her. It caught her off guard; momentarily distracting her. Pan followed it with her eyes wide in childish wonder and delight once she had confirmed that it was no threat to her. _

_ An orb of pure blue-white light hovered just past her face, as if daring her to follow it. Well, I'm not afraid, Pan thought, leaning forward to touch it as curiosity overcame her._

_ "What?" she gasped in surprise, frowning. "It…disappeared?" Pan blinked, surveying everything. That was strange…Oh there it is again! Pan quietly walked towards the light, on tiptoes, doing her best not to startle it again. _

_ "Gotcha!" Pan exclaimed as she closed her hands around the light. She warily opened her palms, but they were…. "Empty?" She bit her lip, wondering how it could have escaped her grasp. "Where are you…?" Pan swiveled around as she scanned the environment for the flickering wisp of light; all uncertainties and doubts long forgotten in the wake of her burning, infantile curiosity. _

_ She spotted it, but remained silent as she stealthily prowled to it. What are you? Pan asked it mentally. Why are you here? She crept ever closer as the orb simply hovered, not moving. As if waiting for her…._

_She was now close enough to touch it, but this time, Pan did not pounce; instead she followed the mysterious orb. It darted slightly to the left, then the right, then zoomed forward, and Pan kept after it, fascinated, mesmerized. She followed it as it moved, her attention completely focused on it. _

_ The slightly pulsating ball of light captured all of her attention, and Pan chased it as it flickered in and out of visibility, never truly losing sight of it. She didn't notice her surroundings changing, becoming darker, the stars disappearing, the night becoming darkness, the malevolence increasing as she continued on. Pan didn't notice when she wandered into a place deep and cold; uninviting and cruel. Evil. _

_ "We go to Earth next?" a voice said. Pan immediately froze. She flattened herself into a corner of the….cave? Where am I? When did I get here? She vaguely noticed that the light had disappeared, having done its job, but it did not seem important now. This is it, Pan thought. This is the threat Vegeta-sensei and Grandpa meant…but they couldn't have known about it so far in advance…could they? _

_ "Yes…," another voice replied, exasperated. It was clearly male, but had a lulling lilt to it. Pan didn't allow herself to be caught off guard by his honey-covered voice, though. She couldn't afford it. "Honestly, don't you listen?"_

_ "I do," the other defended. A female, she deduced. Pan shuddered at the nonchalant words that exuded raw power and confidence. "But it's a puny planet in the Southern Galaxy, I don't see why it concerns you so."_

_ "I've been sensing some…strange powers from that planet," the second voice confessed. Pan's eyes widened as she held in a gasp of horror. _

_ "Oh….well are they a threat?" the female asked, sounding doubtful. _

_ "Possibly," was the terse reply. Pan tensed as she suppressed her ki, ready to fight or run. _

_ "Ha! We are the strongest; nothing threatens us. You know this." There was no overconfidence in these words, just the simple tone of someone speaking the blunt truth. _

_ "Yes, but there are others on that planet. Strong ones. They have defeated Frieza, Baby, Majin Buu…And I am jaded." They're coming to Earth because they are bored? _

_ "Awww, brother is in need of new toys, is he? Fine, we shall go." Flippant. Casual. Not caring that these were people being discussed, people who lived as they wanted to, people possessed of free will. And that Earth had millions of these people, albeit some weaker than others, but they all deserved to be able to choose. To be able to live. _

_ Those careless words sent Pan's rage spiraling to new heights never reached before. How can they be so callous? She wondered. How can they not understand how life truly is? But still she wondered, the greatest question: why?_

_ "We shall." Pan blanched at the inevitable. How long? She wondered. How long until they come? How much time do we have? Pan did not think about her death when they came; it didn't matter. She worried for the others, for Gohan, for Goten, and for Trunks and 17 and Bra and everyone she knew, and still the people that she didn't. _

_The dream dissolved after that in a cloud of worry and terror. In a whirlwind of primal fear and rage, and the darkness swallowed her as she wanted to scream and scream and scream. Their voices followed her, haunting her. _

!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Pan's eyes opened suddenly, startling Trunks.

"Pan!" he said, smiling for the first time in days. A surge of joy leapt through his heart, giving him newfound energy.

"No…Grandpa…Vegeta…here...," she said forcefully, fighting to stay awake. Her face was deathly pale and drawn in. Her voice was hoarse, scratchy, but Trunks could understand exactly what she was saying.

"What?" Trunks looked at her reproachfully. Was this her rejection? He looked at Pan, intending to ask her why she wouldn't talk to him, not when he'd finally reached out. Not when he had finally tried to know her once more. But then he saw the panic and desperation in her eyes and knew it was nothing like that; that it was something far graver and much more vital. Something that eclipsed his want, no, his need, for forgiveness. Something that had Pan terrified.

"Get…them here….tell them… something's coming," Pan gasped out, shivering uncontrollably. She screwed her eyes shut, as if trying to block out a horror past. Trunks opened his mouth to comfort her, to say something else as a pang of resounding, instinctual fear grasped him.

"Okay, I will," he promised instead. "Relax," Trunks reassured her on instinct as her soft hand curled around his. But he was trying to reassure himself as much as Pan. "It'll be okay." It has to be, he told himself. Because her words filled him with a sense of dread that curled in his stomach; a tightly wound icy dense coil of fear. And he couldn't shake the final ring of…something that her words her. But Trunks tried, and it was easy to forget about foreboding when Pan was alive. So easy to forget when her hand was in his, when it felt like everything was finally becoming balanced, becoming right. And the smile never wavered, never left his face, and the joy in his eyes never faded.

"I missed you too…," she mumbled as she fell into the clutches of exhaustion. The adrenaline caused by her nightmare ( no, it cannot be a nightmare, it was too real) retreating, fading away.

Trunks' eyes softened. They lost all of the tension, the burning hellish fire, the horror of the thought of losing her. He breathed easily; for the first time in days there was no weight of guilt and fear crushing his lungs. And Trunks was content as he holds her hand close. Everyone crowded into the room, ending their short moment of privacy. _Goku was right_, he thought, meeting the other Saiyan's grin with one of his own. _All I needed to do was reach out to her. I know it's gonna take time, but this is a start, right? _

But one person was quiet. 17 stayed near the door, expression unreadable; the sea before the storm. Dangerous silence.


	8. Chapter 8

Me: Alright, I have return with another chapter!

Vegeta: ...Shut up, Kakarrot!

Me:...I'm Painted-chan, fool!

Vegeta: You will NOT speak to me that way!

Me: Oh, yeah? Well I can send you to a place worse than hell!

Vegeta: I've been to hell! BRING IT ON, LADY!

Me: You asked for it! *zaps him to RAINBOW CANDYLAND!*

Vegeta: *looks around at the glaringly pink surroundings* What is this place?

Me: Hehehee

*One Direction and Justin Bieber start playing*

Vegeta: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! *runs from cuddly pink teddy bears made of cotton candy*

**REVIEW REPLY TIMES~~~**

**MonNos: Eeek! Very many thanks~~~ And this chapter more of a filler...getting to know the characters. Don't worry, it sets up for the next one quite well.**

** : I'm sorry for making you cry...but at the same time I'm kinda happy I did the emotional scenes well...=) Thanks for leaving a review! And I suppose it should be, but remember everyone else is onna try to influence her.**

**Blue Letters: O.o done! And thanks! Wow...just said thanks to a threat of castration. Hmmm, I'd be worried but I already knew I was insane xD Nah...but thanks a lot! It means a lot to me that your review was so zealous xD!**

* * *

><p>"PAN!" A dark haired girl winced at the shrill sound of her name being yelled so loudly that it would surely shake all corners of the Earth. She blinked and stifled a yawn, already missing the sweet respite of sleep, although her dreams had been nothing but the worst of nightmares since….Since Trunks had come to see her.<p>

Pan bit her lip, lightly tearing the delicate flesh in her confusion. He'd poured his heart out to her, but could she trust him? _Trunks…you abandoned me once. How do I know you won't do it again? It hurt so much the first time; you were just so callously ripped away, there one moment, gone the next, and I never saw you for years and years. It was like you had died…Bulma and Vegeta showed up every time I ended up in the hospital, you know. Bra, too. And they would bend over me and tell me everything was gonna be just fine. And when I asked for you, my best friend, they said that they were sure you were coming, only running late. At first it was school, then dates, then meetings. I always asked. But then I'd look at Vegeta-sensei and see the conflicting shame and pride in his eyes. And I'd know. I'd know that you weren't coming. That you never would. And I stopped asking, stopped wondering, stopped hoping because I knew you didn't care anymore. _

She closed her eyes firmly, blocking all the thoughts with her sheer willpower. Those poisonous, vicious thoughts that turned her into who she used to be before everything. Into the girl that would depend on Trunks for almost everything, the little girl who had thought of him as her hero ready to save her from trouble. _What pathetic, childish dreams, _Pan scoffed at herself. But part of her wanted things to go back to the way they had been. Part of her wondered where she would be now if she hadn't gotten sick.

And another piece of her mind asked what would have happened if Trunks had stayed. Like he had last night. A niggling curiosity couldn't help but ask: why? Why now? _You were never there, so why are you starting now? No._ Pan stopped herself_. I can't think about this now…I'll figure it out later. I'll talk to Mom or Dad or Bra or 17 or Vegeta or Goten or Grandpa. But I will figure it out. They'll help me. They were there. _She was unable to hold back the bitterness seeping into her mind. And why should she? It was true, after all.

"Earth to Pan…hellooo?" a cheerful voice jolted her out of her thoughts. A welcome distraction; not that Bra was a distraction, it was just that her head was getting a bit too crazy for Pan to handle. She smiled at that thought.

"Hi," Pan responded, looking up. She cleared her throat; her voice was hoarse from lack of use. She gave her emotional blue-haired friend a small, reassuring smile to stop the tears flowing from her crystalline blue eyes. Even now, Pan couldn't stand to see Bra crying. The teardrops of liquid diamonds that fell as if from the yawning mouth of a waterfall shimmered in the harsh fluorescent light; sorrowful beauty. A small bolt of jealousy struck Pan in that Bra could always be so beautiful, even when she was a mess. But the petty feeling faded as her hesitant chocolate eyes met the distantly pale orbs of her second visitor, who was unusually silent.

"Pan Son," the fierce blunette began. Though Bra was not a warrior, she could be terrifying, especially when angry. "Don't you dare forgive my douchebag of a brother! Don't you dare! He doesn't deserve, and I'm his own sister saying that! He misses you, I know, but then the idiot should never have left in the first place!"

"Don't worry, Bra," Pan said earnestly, albeit slightly taken back with her friend's vehemence. "I don't think I can, anyway." Her eyes fell to the floor as her very being seemed to exude defeat.

"Pan, it isn't a question of if you can, it is a question of if you will." 17's coolly firm voice quieted Bra's protest. He walked up to Pan's bed and looked directly at her; intensity radiating from him. "I know that he was your first best friend. I know that he was always there before us. I know how close you two were. But I also remember all those times you were miserable, sobbing. I remember the heart-rending despair in your eyes when you were throwing up into a bucket with only a handful of people there and he wasn't among them. I remember the chemotherapy; when you looked so frail and breakable, and how the tiny, childlike, innocent spark of hope in your eyes would shatter every time the Briefs came in and he wasn't with them. I know when you stopped believing their excuses, Pan.

"I can't know exactly how you felt, losing him. But I know lonliness, even if it was only for a few fleeting seconds. I remember when 17 and 18 were gone, consumed by that monster, Cell. I remember how the rage and anguish swept through me and it was like I was falling into an endless abyss of my own solitude. I was glad when Cell beat me, because if I was dead, I couldn't be alone. I couldn't feel anything if I wasn't alive.

"I don't want you to go through that, Pan. I don't. You have me and Bra, Goku and Goten, Gohan and Videl, Chi-Chi and Bulma, even Vegeta! And we stayed. We won't hurt you by leaving you. We're here for you, and you know we always will be. But he wasn't, and you don't know if he's going to be again! Please, Pan!" The fast escalating desperation in 17's voice convinced her more than simply his words ever could. She trusted 17's advice implicitly, but this time something was different. Maybe it's because it's Trunks. Maybe it's because I can't hurt him, even after all this time he's wounded me again and again, every time he wasn't there. And maybe because I never stopped missing him…

"You're right," Pan sighed, looking at the usually stoic android. A small, caring smile slipped onto his face as he hugged her close. Bra frowned, though. Pan's eyes looked conflicted; they looked indecisive. And Bra knew that she and 17 were both right, but that didn't mean that Pan would listen. She knew as well as anyone, maybe even better than some, that Pan did what she wanted no matter what. And that nobody was capable of changing her mind once she had set it.

"But," Bra began for her. "What? There is a 'but', isn't there, Pan?" She raised a slim aquamarine brow at her friend. Pan chuckled and nervously reached to scratch the back of her head, avoiding 17's gaze. The android pulled away abruptly; Bra saw the anger flash, fiery ice in his eyes.

"Yeah….," the black-haired girl said, fiddling with her hair. She gazed down at the pallor over her skin; her black hair contrasted sharply with the stark, empty white that surrounded her. Bra moved towards her friend in a comforting gesture. She knew how much Pan loathed hospitals with their blank, cold sterility and their unforgivingly bare walls. They lacked all of the warmth, the flaming, fierce passion that flowed within her and her family. And the vulnerability really got to Pan; the fact that she needed to be here in the first place. Bra knew her friend was proud, tough, a tomboy. The fact that she was sick, that she needed help, that she looked so frail on the bed, warred with everything that Pan was.

"Pan?" 17 prompted. Bra knew that he was hoping that she would say no, that she would simply dismiss it with a shake of her head. Out of them all, she knows that 17 is the harshest one. That 17 is the one who inhibits the coldest, cruelest anger for her brother. _Even if Pan forgives him, 17 won't. He just won't. But their friendship will never be the same; it won't even be as close. I know it won't. Pan won't trust him as much, if ever again, that is. Trunks will have to spend the rest of his life making up for what he did. He may be my brother, but that doesn't mean I'm automatically going to be all cozy with him because Pan forgives him. She's always had a soft spot for the big purple goof….I wonder if he'll try to bribe me with shopping? Funny how it is most definitely going to work, but he doesn't need to know that. _

_ He shouldn't have to, anyway. Trunks should know that I could never hate him, even though I come very close sometimes. He may annoy the hell out of me, piss me off to no extent, but I can never hate my big brother. He was always there for me, how could it be so hard to show the same dedication to Pan? Especially when they seemed closer that he and I were sometimes. _

"I just don't know," she confessed. Tears long held within herself begin to surface in her eyes. _Sorrowful stars captured and made liquid. Sadness is their curse and their freedom_, Bra thought absentmindedly in a burst of poetic eloquence. _They descended to help humans, for maybe human lives were better than theirs, but they became trapped in the grief and rending anguish here. _

"I want to forgive him, but I don't think I can. I mean, he was here last night, but never before that! How do I know he won't just up and leave and then I'll be exactly where I was before? Yet I want to forgive him so, so, so badly. Maybe it's because of how we were so close before, or how I could never stay mad at him. Some days, I daydream that he'll show up and comfort me when I'm sick, and it finally came true last night. And then I remember how it felt when he stopped. How broken I felt, how abandoned. Trunks can make me feel like the most important person and like nothing at all, and I don't like it, no matter how good of friends we were," the words spilled out of Pan, faster and faster, the trickle turning into an unstoppable deluge of emotions and things that should have been spoken long ago.

"It's gonna be okay," Bra whispered as the three huddled close. The words that seemed to have lost their meaning to Pan a long time ago rekindled something within her. The things that needed to be said, because it had to be true, were said quietly, so soft they were barely audible. But that didn't matter. It was what comforted all of them. If it wasn't, then they would make it okay. They would fight and scream and curse and do everything they could to make sure it would be. It was what they did, never expecting anything in return, never asking for anything in return. Always unselfishly saving the day no matter what.

But heroes have problems too. And Bra tries to keep her friends together. She knows that she's the glue in this friendship. Even though Pan and 17 could have been friends, Bra is the one who keeps them close. _I keep them sane. I make sure they don't worry about everything too much. I propose going to the island, I say we should hang out with a movie night, I say the most ridiculous things if only to put a smile on their face. Real smiles, they are a treasure not everyone appreciates. But Trunks hasn't given a real smile in ages; my mom is too worried about Capsule Corp., her kids, and Pan; and if my dad smiles I think I'll drop dead on the spot because the apocalypse has arrived. _

_And Pan smiles too, but only around a few people. And it's so easy to tell between real and fake, genuine and a comforting fabrication. I'm the worst culprit at that one. I smile and sometimes it's fake to help my family, to show everything's alright. But I know that it isn't. Being a lady means smiling no matter what; good or bad. Guess what though? Ever since Pan and 17 and I became friends, I haven't needed to fake a smile. As for 17, sometimes I feel like we taught him how to smile, like he didn't know how before all of this. Funny how such a grave situation caused it. _

"It's gonna be okay…."

!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

17's mind was a tumultuous tempest of conflict. A maelstrom of thoughts that tormented him. His eyes flashed stormily as he stared straight ahead. Pan, what the hell are you doing? He wanted to scream it over and over and over. _Why is she even considering forgiving him? Are we not good enough? Or is it some lingering vestige of hope and loyalty that bastard hasn't crushed yet? Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if it were that. They were awfully close before; it stands to think that it'd be that. But is it odd that I feel it is something more? Either way, he can never get that back, not how it was before. He doesn't deserve everything, you know. He didn't deserve being Pan's friend, and he doesn't deserve her forgiveness now. He doesn't deserve having someone like Bra as a sister, or the powers he has. I don't think he deserves someone with undying loyalty like Goten as one of his best friends, and he threw away Gohan's respect for him when he threw away Pan's friendship and trust. Trunks has everything. But he doesn't appreciate it. He's one of the most powerful men on Earth, powerwise and businesswise. And still he just sits there and does nothing. Never thanks, never cares. It's like he's a robot..._

"Did he figure it out yet?" Pan wondered at something that Bra had told her. She was rolling her eyes in amused exasperation, a complete turnaround from her emotions of only ten minutes ago. She was such an enigma at times.

"Nope; he is officially an idiot," Bra sighed.

"He wasn't one before?" the raven quirked an eyebrow in astonishment. Her laugh rang out through the empty, cold halls of the hospital. It seemed so out of place there; it was the bright flash of the hummingbird in the cage, fighting to get free.

"Oh, he was definitely one before." 17's mind wandered as he walked beside the two, barely paying attention to the mundane gossip being discussed.

"You know," whispered Pan softly, as if she was guessing his thoughts, "it's the little things like this that keep us sane."

"But how can you focus on the 'little things' when there is something so much bigger to worry about?" he murmured back to her. 17's voice lacked the heat that he wanted to put in it.

"Because it's easier that way," Bra interjected. She smiled softly; she'd been listening all along. "It's simpler to block it out while you're well and enjoy being well, and worry about being sick while you're sick and not while you're well."

"Exactly. Balance, it's the key to it all," Pan nodded at her simple statement. 17 blinked in confusion as he turned to stare at her. _She really is Goku's granddaughter; she seems simple and easy to understand, but deep down it's a myriad labyrinth that is ridiculously difficult to get through. She says one thing that will send you on a journey of trying to understand it's meaning. And they both have this way of jokingly dismissing the bad in impossibly large amounts of optimism, and enjoying themselves no matter the situation. Not self-confidence, but optimism._

"Pan." She whirled around immediately; confusion, anger, and love writ clear across her face as she saw the two visitors.

"Mom. Dad." She looked at them, and 17 knew that no more words needed to be said. He looked as she rushed into their arms; all arguments long forgotten. Unknown to him, a wistful look crept into his eyes as he watched the family embrace with tears of happiness and relief being freely shed among them all.

17 realized why she loved them so much, that they were her home. It didn't matter where she was; as long as they were with her she would be safe. He'd normally look down on that childlike dependence and love but it was somehow right. He'd normally say that it's illogical and impossible, but having met the Sons, he knew that nothing was with them around. _I wish I had someone like that….someone to depend on no matter what. Someone to be there for me. They say that you never feel as lonely as you do in a crowd, but that's not true. It's among a family that you aren't really part of. _

"Bro, you never hug me like that!" Goten pouted at his big brother.

"Come on, group hug, you goof," Videl teased him as she extended her arms. Her eyes were brimming with tears that were streaking down her cheeks, even though Pan's mother was laughing uncontrollably. _Such an odd contradiction_, 17 mused.

"Alright!" Goku grinned, dragging Chi-Chi along with him. He enveloped everyone in gentle yet strong arms; making the Sons a large ball of happiness. 17 stared at them, a knot of emotion rising in his throat. _I wish I had a family. Some of that warmth. And Goku too. Sometimes I wonder how he does it; balancing being a fighter with being a grandpa, a husband, and a father, but he does it well. Amazingly, in fact. Pan was right. Balance is the key to it all. Between strength and love, between violence and peace, between joviality and seriousness. _

"Well, you guys too," Gohan smiled kindly. "We might as well go all out here." _I do have a family_, 17 corrected himself._ I have Pan and Bra. And the Sons too. They are the people that will stand by me without asking something in return. The people that matter. Family…._

"A group hug is so…cliché," he said dryly, not betraying his emotions. He chuckled at a death glare from Bra. "Okay, okay, I'm coming." 17 found himself in something like an alternate dimension, or a warm bath after a long winter day. The pure love permeating the air around them seemed to seep through him, and in that instant, his eyes seemed less like ice and more like the azure waters of the warm Caribbean Sea. It seemed like all the contrasting and warring thoughts in his head immediately dissipated, all the jealousy and hatred he harbored for Trunks vanished, all the worry simply evaporated as the acceptance radiated around him. _I need to hug people more often_, he made a note in his mind. _Hugs are amazing. Maybe if Goku hugged Cell….? No. Nobody would hug Cell. Nobody._

_ I see what she means about the small moments. Just live each second and love it. _

!~!~!~!~!~!

"What the hell is going on?" Vegeta's gruff voice stopped the family moment. "Stop hugging, do it later. We have a serious emergency on our hands. So get your asses to Capsule Corp. right now!"

"You're just jealous you weren't invited," Goku stated matter-of-factly as he exchanged glances with Pan. She nodded, eyes growing firm.

"Shut up, Kakarrot!" he growled. "Girl, let's go already! This is more important that whatever the hell that was. Trust me."

"How strong?"

"Stronger than anything we've ever encountered."

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><p><em><strong>OOOHHHH! Sorry if the ending was weird, but needed to be done. I MUST start developing the plot more~<strong>_


	9. Chapter 9

Me: Hi, I'm back with another update. I'm sorry for the long wait, school started. Yep, it's that time of year again. Lovely, isn't it? *sighs*

Vegeta: I grudgingly admire your use of sarcasm, woman.

Me: ...*facepalm* Goku, please?

Goku: PAINTED-CHAN DOESN'T OWN!

Vegeta: *grrr* WELL I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT!

Me: I'll make you eat Orihime's cooking...

Vegeta: I...care...*glares*

Me: MUAHAHAHA!

**Review replies:**

**Kenicha V Briefs: Wish granted xD Thanks~**

**Ally: I'm glad you agree with me! I mean really, if she forgave him THAT easily, he'd probably just break her all over again. *rolls eyes* Mr. Mushroom-Head is just insensitive like that. But seriously, he was, and I'm glad you noticed that. He was being selfish and trying to protect himself, but Pan was the one who needed friends to stick by her.**

**Guest: =) It took kinda long, but here it is!**

**MonNos: I couldn't help myself xD Thank you!**

**Blue Letters: Yeahhh...cuz they just HAD to live on what has to be the most danger-prone planet on Earth. Nd yes, I am a girl, but there's this freaky thing my friend told me about and...yeah...*shudder* But I's a she :P AND YES HE DOES! XD Your review make me laugh...but yes, nothing short of that would be terrible xD Pan/17...adorable, I guess.**

**AnabellaGC: Isn't he? And Trunks is fricking infuriating! As for Pan, ain't she epic? 17= :3 Awww, thanks! You're awesome~**

**Lunabella: Can you help me with that? I'll PM you if I need help with that (remember, she's still kinda sick) It's amazing that your friend's okay; she must have a lot of inner strength :) As for Pan, I don't think I can kill her off, but I don't know that she'll be cured. I do like your idea for trying cure her, I'm most likely going to use it :) Thanks for leaving such a detailed and passionate review ^^ **

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><p>"Two years," Pan whispered, over and over. Her dark, usually expressive eyes were blank, cold. They seemed to reflect the bottomless abyss of darkness that seemed to be swallowing them all now. 17 could hear the disbelief and fear that seeped into her voice that hoarsely broke the shocked, tense silence. It was a chill that lingered in the air and seeped into his very soul, freezing it with the wicked cold fingers of utter despair.<p>

"They feel strong," Bra murmured, sinking to her knees at the image on the screen. "So strong…" The words did nothing except weigh them down with crushing despair that lurked in the room, darkening it, tainting it. Their disbelief hung in the air like a tangible thing; he could feel it pressing down on him, and he could taste the vast chasm that was the hopelessness with every breath he took.

17's eyes grew wide, too, as he cast his senses out, farther than he had ever done so before. And he felt it. A presence that was lightened by the thousands of light-years, but was still enough to freeze him, paralyze him. _How? How could this be happening? And how was it even possible? We can't fight this…it's too strong for even Goku. And Gogeta would have to fuse with Gotenks fusing with me fusing with Pan and Bra fusing with every single being on the planet, no, the universe, to fight this. Impossible._ He stared down at his now clenched fist, seeing through the flawless skin and into the wiring and blood that flowed through him, making him who he was.

17 wasn't proud of his past; wasn't proud that he'd killed so many people and tried to kill so many more. He wasn't proud of his arrogance, the arrogance that had gotten him absorbed by Cell. The arrogance that had made everything so much worse. But he accepted it, and that was what counted the most. Who would he be, if that hadn't happened? What kind of person would he have become?_ I would have had human friends, been a normal person. And I never would have known that there was so much more. I'd never have met Goku and Pan and Bra, never have been touched by the fierce warmth of their souls. I wouldn't have been able to fly so high I could touch the stars; instead, I would have only dreamed what they were like. _

He'd been lucky then. Luckier than he thought he deserved, now that he looked back on it. Everything happens for a reason, he remembered the words Dr. Gero had spoken before he'd taken the then-human 17. His last human memory before everything had changed was irrevocably seared into his mind. As was everything after that. 17 wished sometimes that he could just forget everything and just collapse onto a soft bed. And just let everything pass by him peacefully on a river of time.

_My past was made to make me stronger. I survived and here I am, an infinitely better creature that I was before. If Gero hadn't taken me for his experiments, I wouldn't be here. Those were the worst days of my life; not knowing whether I'd live or not. And then falling into the darkness. When I woke up, I didn't know who I was. I couldn't remember anything of when I was human._

The phantom pain of his lost memories ached, setting a flame of longing burning through the android. But 17 pushed it away; this was now. The Earth was in danger (again, he added mentally, rolling his eyes), and there was work to be done. He'd been the threat at one point, but now was his retribution.

"It's impossible," Krillen finally spoke, and his words lingered in the air, stayed by the weight of the emotion they carried.

"No." 17 found his voice again. He could hear the conviction within it, feel it bubbling up within himself. "It isn't impossible. And if it is, well we aren't exactly people who regard that as a truth. When Goku fought Frieza, nobody believed he'd win. But he did. When Goku and Gohan fought Cell, did the world think they could do it? And Baby, when he possessed everybody, even Vegeta? And Majin Buu, and Omega Shenron?" His words escalated and grew ever louder until he was shouting with every fiber of his being. "Nobody. Gave. Up." 17 enunciated every word carefully as he reigned in his frustration and anger. "And we won! The Earth was saved, over and over and over and I'll be damned if it was all for fucking NOTHING." His eyes were blazing pools of icy blue, and his ki had formed an aura around him, punctuating each word by growing ever higher.

"I find issue with you not mentioning me in the tales of our glory," Vegeta sniffed, narrowing his eyes at 17. "But," he began, growing serious, "the shemalebot is right. We must continue." _Shemalebot? Well, he is the first person I'm sparring with_, 17 thought angrily. _Stupid midget monkey. _

"YEAH!" Goku cheered, happy as ever. "Now let's eat and then train!" 17 rolled his eyes at the Saiyan's infectious oblivious, yet subtle attempt to lighten the mood. He knew Goku; the man would act like an idiot if he knew that it would help his family and friends even a little bit. And 17 could respect that. He smiled along with the others, allowing it to grace his lips in public, cracking his icy exterior for all to see. He'd changed, and he knew it. Only he knew too that some didn't believe it. Especially Krillen, but 17 was the brother-in-law from hell. _Literally_, he chuckled at his own joke.

_I'm good. I'll prove it once and for all, I'll make sure that nobody ever doubts me again. I'll live in a city with people because even though they are pathetically weak, there is something that draws them together in times of need. And because the loneliness is sometimes more than I can bear. I will prove that I'm strong, that I'm useful, that I'm worthy of respect and love. I prove it to everyone. And most of all, I'll prove it to myself._

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Pan's eyes flashed with determination as she walked out of Capsule Corp. _New enemies are a new challenge_, she almost grinned at the prospect. _Crazy strong or not, it's pretty exciting stuff….but their strength is something else. Something like it's from the Otherworld. Maybe we should call the Kai's, ask them what they know? Dende knows they owe us at least that much. _

She scowled as she recalled Bulma and Chi-Chi's silent tears when the news had been broken. The women had been devastated by the looming terror that was coming closer with each passing second. Especially her Grandma. _I'll visit her tomorrow_, Pan decided. _And not just because of the bad news; I honestly miss her. I can't say that I'm not worried about her; Papa told me how worried she became before the androids. And now here it is again; two years, waiting. Waiting for our doom to arrive. _A sardonic, bitter laugh escaped her lips as she trudged through the compound. Sometimes, she just needed to walk instead of fly, and the quiet was good for thinking. Just because she could do something, doesn't mean she needed to.

There was just so much going on, she reflected. _I can handle it, though. I need to be strong. For everyone, for me. This is my chance!_ Pan exulted in her realization. _I can fight now. It's different now. I'm stronger, faster, tougher, better. I. Will. Win. _The raw confidence surged through her, charging her with a euphoria and invincibility that no drug would ever be able to replicate. Pan felt like she could do anything. She grinned as she let her ki soar to the heights it wished it could reach on a daily basis; it flickered around her as if it were flames, enclosing her in its safe warmth. Pan's eyes flashed from deep onyx to rich turquoise, and back again as she reveled in the power of her ascended form. The wild storm of ki surrounding her turned gold as it lashed her still black hair back and forth.

"Trunks," she murmured, sensing his presence directly behind her. Pan turned, dropping her aura of ki completely. She immediately missed the sense of invincibility it gave her, being powered up. Bracing herself before she looked into his haunting, haunted, blue eyes. Self-conscious, Pan hugged her arm to her chest, trying to ignore their paleness and obvious frailty. She scowled down at them, wishing he'd just go away.

"Hey," he smiled easily. Immediately, she was on her guard. What could he want from her that was so important he was actually talking to her? The cynical, bitter part of Pan decided that he was just going to be an ass, but the part of Pan that was softer, kinder, wanted to give him a chance. That part of her was hoping he'd apologize and everything would be better.

"Hi," Pan replied simply, not really trusting herself to say anything else. And apparently, that wasn't what he was expecting, according to his taken-aback frown.

"That's it?"

"Yes," she rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Trunks?"

"I wanted to know if," Trunks paused, looking down at his shoes, "you maybe wanted to spar with me?" She almost laughed at his intensely uncomfortable look. Seriously? Honestly, Pan sighed.

"Wow, and it only took the end of the world and around ten years to ask," she said sardonically. "No thanks, Trunks, I'll pass." She shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. _Damn you to hell_, she cursed the part of her that desperately wanted him back. _I can't just say 'Oh, I forgive you! Nothing bad's gonna happen ever again!' He'll just keep on doing it, and I can't handle that. I'm done letting myself be used by him. _

"What?" _Huh, looks like I actually managed to shock him_, Pan reflected as she took in his wide eyes and unblinking stare. She buried her begging, pleading, weak part of her under layers of sarcasm and bitterness so it wouldn't emerge ever again. She wouldn't. She couldn't.

"I'm just going to head home now," she said, recoiling slightly from the hurt expression painted across his face. She couldn't face what she'd done, now. Even though it was exactly what had happened to her, she couldn't stand to see him looking so hurt and vulnerable. But she had to. _I need to focus on things, and he's distracting me. I need to train and get stronger, but he'll only plague my mind. I need to harden my heart from him, even if it stays that way forever. The only way I'll feel better about doing this is if I don't feel at all._

"Pan, wait. Don't go. I miss you. Stay with me," he begged. Tears began to form in his crystalline eyes, so much like Bra's but so different. Bra's eyes had always held kindness and love, but Trunks' hadn't. Sometimes they showed annoyance and anger and utter indifference. And Pan's heart was already fragile enough. He'd ripped it once, and this time, he wouldn't be able to do it again. Because she wouldn't give him the chance, not now. No matter how much she wanted to forgive him, she couldn't. But she knew, deep inside her, that she already had. And her heart was aching with this, too. But it was better for the both of them. She had to believe that.

"I can't. I'm sorry," she turned away. Why was it so hard to tell him no? To abandon him when he looked so vulnerable? He'd done the same to her, but Pan knew that he wasn't good for her. She wasn't his ghost, she wasn't someone he could go to whenever he felt like it and forget about later.

Her eyes closed, so nobody could see the raw pain that they held. Pan didn't want to do this. She didn't want to betray him like he did to her. But she couldn't stay with him like this anymore. Not when she couldn't trust him with everything like she had before. Because she missed that closeness, no matter how much she would deny it to 17 and Bra and anyone else. Pan couldn't deny it to herself, though. And she knew she had missed him. Missed them being friends. But she knew that nothing could be the same anymore. She wouldn't trust him as much as she had.

When Trunks had decided he didn't need her anymore, after she had accepted that he would never be there, Pan had felt torn. Broken. Suddenly, her best friend was gone and half of her was too. There was nobody to play pranks with when she was in a mischievous mood. There was nobody to joke around with, nobody who knew her better than she knew herself. There was nobody that would spar with her and let her win anymore (on the other hand, Vegeta never let her win), nobody who would tease and tickle her mercilessly just for fun. He'd ignored her completely; never answered her calls, never home when she came over. He didn't even look at her. Trunks had made the then seven year old Pan feel like she was invisible.

Countless minutes between chemotherapy, needles and medications Pan had wondered if she did exist. If, after the pain and the sickness and the cancer, anything was left behind? If there was anything that could be salvaged from the wreckage of her mind and body. Had this used up all she was? Was she still there? What if she'd become a ghost that nobody could see? They would mention her fondly, nostalgically, and not even notice that she was there. She'd become pale and thin, blending in with the sterile blankness of the hard hospital bed. The small wisp of a girl that had been Pan was slowly being crushed by the weight of these thoughts. She'd lived half-alive, then.

And it wasn't the drugs or the never-ending shots or even the cancer itself that was killing her. It was her heart. Trunks had abandoned her, and with him he'd taken her heart, her spirit. Because if her best friend who could never stay mad at her was leaving her, was she really worth all of this?

_But that was then_, Pan told herself firmly. _I won't be able to trust him again, no matter how much I want to, how hard I try. Everything has changed now. He's changed, and so have I. But I won't lie and say that I don't miss him, because I do. And I can't say that I don't forgive him, because I do. But I can't forget how selfish he was, how harsh, how callously he threw everything away. The scars on my heart won't let me forget. _

"Pan, please…I was wrong, I need you in my life. I miss you, I'm sorry!" Trunks' words seemed to just run out of his mouth, but Pan resolutely stared at the ground. She couldn't stand to see him like this, so broken. But the words were all wrong. They'd long lost their meaning for her, repeated over and over. They weren't enough to erase all his actions.

"Trunks, I can forgive you. I already have," Pan said softly. And so the truth was bared. _Screw it, I have to look at him. He needs to see that I mean it._ A glimmer of hope made its way into the baby blues she had missed so much."But I can't forget. I'm sorry, but I don't think we can be friends anymore." The look of utter despair in his eyes clamored for her to think again, and all she wanted to do was to promise him that everything would be okay, that she was still his friend. But it wasn't okay, and she couldn't still be his friend. Pan felt her resolve weakening with every second she looked at him. _No, I can't waver. I need to be strong and trust that this is the best thing for both of us. _

"No," the barely audible whisper was full of heart-rending anguish that it hurt her to even hear it.

"Trunks. I can't," she said. Her words held a ring of finality about them as she turned and took off, flying out of his life. Trunks felt an unbearable pain in his chest, as he closed his own eyes, willing all of this to be a dream. With every word that she'd said, he'd felt pieces of his heart just disintegrate, as if they couldn't stand the pain of not seeing her. And he wanted it all to just stop as he lay in the cool grass, dressed in a suit. Droplets of his anguish slid from his eyes as he lay staring up at the receding spark of light that he knew was Pan, wishing she would come back all the while he knew that she wouldn't.

The loss pierced him, a silvery sharpened dagger digging into every fiber of his being, twisting him apart until he became undone. Trunks looked at his flawless palms, wondering why they weren't bleeding. How could he be physically fine with such pain coursing through his veins? Why didn't his life simply leave him and stain the rich grass crimson with his anguish? The thoughts plagued him endlessly as he lay there, knowing she wouldn't come back to lie with him as they once had; staring at the stars and forgetting the world. He stared blankly at the spot where her spark of ki had disappeared, letting the tidal wave wash over him, submerge him. _Why?_

But what he didn't see were the silent tears that streaked down her cheeks as she left; he didn't see as Pan closed her eyes to try and stop the pain and regret in them from screaming out. And he didn't hear her think, _It's the best thing for us both. Right?_


	10. Chapter 10

Ohiyo, minna :D I'm back ^^ 'kay, well updates are gonna come out a bit faster I think, and I hope so. Guys, I'm really sorry it's been taking forever. Honest.. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut now we have some seriously fun family time coming up. I tossed in a Pan/Goten uncle/niece chat in here, deep reflections to build the emotional storyline. I'm probably gonna come back and do some edits on this one, so if you think I need to fix anything, just tell me. Reviews are appreciated, and I thank MonNos and Annabella GC for reviewing last chapter. You guys rock ^^ Plus all you favs and follows make me so proud, I tell you. I may not come back to this until I finish a chapter for my one-shot collection, Red, and a new chapter of Road Trip to Forks, but I'll be back soon minna~ DON'T WORRY!

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><p>Bra frowned, elegant blue eyebrows forming a frustrated 'v'. <em>They're all fighting. Every single one of them.<em> Sighing impatiently, she stared at the sky. It was such a pretty shade of blue today, she reflected. Bra knew the science behind it; the refraction of the sun's rays through the atmosphere, but she wanted to believe in something else. She wanted to believe in something mythical, something fantastic.

Daydreamer, her mother had called her affectionately as a child. Your head's in the clouds. Bra remembered protesting that it was a good thing, but she would never say why. She would never tell anyone, not even Pan, not even 17, that she needed her daydreams; she needed her head in the clouds. Bra knew she wasn't brave enough to admit her insecurities to anyone but herself. _I wouldn't be able to tell anyone about how the daydreams were all I had when everyone seemed to prefer someone else to me. My dad doted on me, but I know he's disappointed. He preferred Trunks, and then he preferred Pan. My mother-she let Trunks run the company, even though she knows full well I'm just as smart as him. And my brother was with Pan, or with Goten; always training, always having fun._

_Always leaving me. Me, Bra; the beauty and the brains without the strength to give her a core of steel. Me, the daughter of Vegeta and Bulma, having more of my mother than my father, more delicate than warlike. A flimsy, fragile dandelion in a forest of tall and unyielding pines._

_My mind was changed for me before I even noticed it, but now I know. I don't want to be that dandelion. I will grow, tall, and I will touch the sky._

"Everyone has something to prove," she murmured. _And almost everyone has the strength to prove it. I don't know if I do…if I have enough strength to prove it. If I have enough willpower and faith to reach my dreams, to let my dreams give me wings. I don't know._

"I agree." Gasping, she whirled around. Hand on her heart, sapphire eyes wide, Bra frowned immediately. She glared, but held her tongue.

"Hi, Trunks," she simply stated. Because Bra didn't know how to feel about him. A part of her wanted to hate her brother, but she knew she couldn't hate him. Trunks had abandoned Pan, and been a complete idiot doing that, but Bra couldn't hate him. She still remembered when she was little, how he'd play with her. How he'd playfully toss her into the air, how he'd grin and ruffle her hair. She remembered how he'd tease her mercilessly and playfully. Bra remembered all the good times she'd had with her brother and saw them through pink and black lenses. Diamond eyes in criticism, the eyes of an adoring sister in love. She couldn't hate him, not her brother.

"I think she hates me," Trunks confessed. The grey under his eyes was prominent, the dull sheen of them was even worse. It hurt her to see him like this. She couldn't stand it. Pan, or Trunks; Bra realized she needed to choose. Her best friend or her brother. It would tear her apart. Ignoring either one of them would rip out a vital piece of her heart.

Pan had hurt Trunks, but Trunks had hurt Pan. And Bra loved both of them. But she didn't know where the golden, perfect friendship the two of them had shared had gone wrong. She didn't know why he'd retreated into himself, or why Pan had accepted it instead of confronting him. She didn't know, and that hurt too, the not knowing. If she knew, then she could fix it. But she didn't. And maybe, just maybe there were some things that couldn't be fixed.

"I don't know." Bra told him. Stubble on his jaw, untidy hair, shaking hands. She couldn't stand it. "That…sickness inside her, it's destroying more than her body, you know. It's destroying us. I won't let it, I can't let it. Because that means I'm losing my best friend, and you're losing both of yours. It means that our family will be split in two, and that everyone will lose something."

"But she was strong…she is strong. Her spirit is still there," Trunks argued. "And you never answered me. Does she hate me?"

"You never asked the question," Bra said. _I can't answer that. I don't want to answer it. _

"Stop evading."

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?" He sounded incredulous. _Yes, brother, because I know everything that goes on in everyone's head. _Bra almost rolled her eyes.

"I don't know because I'm not sure," she bit her lip. "But…" Bra hesitated. She wasn't sure, would telling him do more harm than good? Inspire an easily crushed false hope? "But I don't think she does. I don't think she can hate you, not with the bond you share."

"Used to share." Despondent, he corrected her.

"Something like that cannot be broken easily," Bra insisted. All thoughts of caution had disappeared. He needed to see that Pan didn't hate him. She'd forgiven him, hadn't she? But the past was keeping them apart. Forgiving without forgetting, she's only guarding her heart.

"I doubt that," Trunks told her. Dull eyes met hers. The numbed pain in them made her shudder; what if he was right? The flash of doubt lanced through her, electric lightning. What if he was right, and Pan did hate him?

"You were best friends for years, she only really trusted you. Nobody can abandon that, no matter how hard they might try." Bra hated that she couldn't tell if this was her speaking for Pan, or her speaking for herself. Because she honestly didn't know what she'd do if Pan truly hated her brother. As a best friend, she was bound to hate him too, but as a sister, she was bound to love him and defend him. They'll tear me apart, she realized. Horrorstruck, Bra knew it was true.

Selfish. Rage bubbled up inside her. They're all so selfish. As if I don't have any problems whatsoever? As if I'm going to take their sides, self-assured. As if I won't make my own choice. These two, their fight, their stubborn pulling in opposite directions is going to tear me apart. I can't keep being in the middle of all this. If I don't get out now, if I don't show them that I can't be on a side, then I'll never be able to.

"I hope you're right." He sighed, looking as if he had aged years. Bra knew she should try to explain to him that Pan was just trying to keep herself safe, but she also knew that he wouldn't understand it. He wouldn't. And she couldn't tell him she wasn't on his side now, either. Not when her brother looked so despondent, dejected. Not when he looked so defeated.

"Mmm," she said noncommittally. Selfish, every one of them. Assumptions, guesses based on fact; no expectations of fighting from the beauty. But she was her father's daughter, and she wasn't just Belle. She was the beast too, only that part of her she'd No thought as to that people change. A savage frown crept upon her face.

"Bra?" The question hung in the air, calling her. She smiled at her brother, new determination fresh within her.

A breath, then another as she stood up. _I'll prove my strength, my worth. I've waited too long, been too preoccupied with other things. I remember when Pan asked me to spar with her one day, and I remember when I couldn't say yes. I remember her shocked expression when I said I hated to fight that day. But I remember her changing me, I remember 17 changing me. I remember how they'd playfully throw punches and facetious insults at each other, challenging, daring, laughing. I remember how Goku and Pan always smiled wide with joy while they sparred and I remember watching them and thinking that maybe my dad had it wrong. I remember thinking that he was wrong because he was always so serious when he fought; shouting, pushing. But then I walked in on him training with Pan and Goku, and I changed my mind, decided that it wasn't horrible, that it was family. Unity; it was us. The way they are, and now it'll be the way we are. _

"Spar with me, Trunks?"

!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Pan laughed, bathing in the exhilaration. Euphoria was clear in her face as she dodged back and forth, away from imaginary foes. She flipped in the air and flew higher than the clouds; the wind whipping her hair felt like freedom. Faster and faster Pan flew as she urged herself to reach the limits of her speed.

"I may not be 'strong enough' to spar properly yet, but I am strong enough for this," she murmured, coming to rest at a hover above a cloud. The solitude of the sky warmed and chilled her soul at the same time as she lay against the fluffy wetness, letting it envelope her, but not letting herself plummet to the Earth below.

Here, she was alone, but here she was free. It was like nothing existed here, like all the things that bound her on Earth didn't exist up in the clouds. Like she wasn't sick, like impending doom wasn't coming, like she was weightless.

"I don't know anymore," Pan sighed, letting the words fall and float. She loved being here, suspended between Earth and space. She loved the sense of freedom it brought. "Do I like this 'weightlessness'? Do I honestly want to be free if it means being alone? Being weightless, just floating, isn't something I've done in my life. I've fought and bled and screamed and forced my way. I've always had a goal and a purpose, but when I'm here, it all just falls away. It's a good place to think, though. But I've never thought much, given consideration to things before I do them. But 'long live the reckless and the brave', right?" She raised her hand in a sardonic imaginary toast. The irony almost made her chuckle. "Long live us."

"I sure hope so," a quiet laugh was behind her.

"Hey Uncle Goten," Pan grinned, a genuine light coming into her eyes.

"Hey, yourself, Pancake," he ruffled her hair affectionately, but she could feel the fatigue emanating from her uncle's body. The usually full of life, happy go lucky, mischievous Uncle Goten she knew now seemed tired and defeated. The years have had their impact on us all, she thought with a sigh. Strength doesn't mean we're immortal. Strength doesn't mean we're invulnerable.

"You look tired." Pan stated it simply, rotating as she floated to face the weary dark Son eyes so much like her dad's, her grandpa's, and, to an extent, her own.

"Aren't we all?"

"True, true," she mused, placing her chin on his head like she used to do when he'd give her piggyback rides. Goten sad was just something heartbreaking and unfathomable. She had to cheer her uncle up. Pan needed to be there for him just like he'd been there for her from day one.

"Soooooo," she drew out the vowel sound as she contemplated what to do. Flipping onto her back and staring at the sky, her mind wandered as she began to find shapes in the clouds.

"That one looks like an angry Vegeta," Pan said suddenly, making the other jump.

"What?" Goten looked up, raising an eyebrow. "You're right…how weird is that?"

"He's everywhere. He sees everything…when you're awake, when you're asleep, everything," she lowered her voice and allowed a dark look to come across her face. Smile, Uncle G, smile! Pan urged him.

"So he's Santa Claus?" Goten blinked. "That's disturbing." He heaved a sigh. "Pan, you can stop trying to cheer me up, I'm fine."

"I can tell that you're not, you know," Pan told him, brows furrowed. "You look sad."

"And I'm not allowed to be depressed every once in a while?" he asked irritably. Pan nodded; something was definitely off here. Her uncle was one of the most easygoing and mild-tempered people she knew- he rarely got angry or annoyed.

"You are, but it's strange to see you sad. You've always cheered me up, now it's my turn to cheer you up. We are family, after all," Pan grinned up at him, and for a moment Goten was transported back. Back to when everything was fine and she was smiling and healthy and the happiest child he knew. He saw the Pan from then in her smile, saw the Pan with glowing and curious eyes in the now older and wiser Pan. Goten saw the child she still was buried underneath layers of sickness and cynicism, and knew that nothing could really change Pan's nature. She would always be that smiling and carefree child deep down.

"Yeah, we are, kiddo. But everyone's drifting apart lately."

"I know."

"Visit your dad, he's torn up about it and keeps insisting on fighting me. I don't know how I'm supposed to beat him, considering he's a mystic and all that, but there you have it. Plus, he raids my fridge afterwards," Goten complained.

"Alright, I will," Pan sighed. "But you're coming with me to say hi to Grandma Chi-Chi."

"Sounds like a plan, kiddo," Goten laughed. Pan grinned back, high-fiving her uncle.

"So d'you wanna spar?"

He groaned. "Now you're beating up on me too, Panny?"

"No, not yet, anyway," she laughed.

"Let's go!"


	11. Chapter 11

I'm awful, I really am. Not updating for so long...author is a total asshole sometimes, yeah? But I'm here now, and thanking the amazing and brilliant reviewers Annabelle GC and MonNos for their reviews last chapter. It made me so happy when I got the emails, I have to say. 3 Love you guys.

But this chapter...I'm a bit iffy about it. I like it, but I might come back and decide to change it, if you understand what I mean. I don't own, though, but I hope you guys like this one~

~Painted-chan

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><p>"Grandma?" Pan spoke into the house, stepping through the door. Her key was cool in her hand, heavy, a weight of guilt dragging her down. She was not weak, she was not on her deathbed; Pan knew that it would have been incredibly easy to visit her grandmother. Flying would have taken five minutes at most, Instant Transmission would have taken her less than five seconds.<p>

"She's in the garden, Pan." Her fingers clutched the key closer, wrapping it in her fist. Its edge dug into the palm of her hand, something she felt too small a price to pay for her negligence. Because Pan knew that the reason she hadn't visited her grandma, hadn't been to Mount Paozu, not because she was sick, but because she'd forgotten.

She felt sick, her stomach rebelling, rage making her hands shake. It wracked her body; how could she have forgotten her family? How? She saw her grandpa at least once a week, saw Vegeta more than that, and they were not even related. She saw Bra and 17 almost every day, they were her best friends, but how could she forget to visit her grandmother? Her grandmother who loved her unconditionally, who had taken care of her as a child, who had told her to do as her heart said. Her grandmother who had always been a constant in her life, who had always, always, encouraged her.

Pan remembered the sensation of a brush gently pulling through her straight hair, one of her earliest memories that felt almost sacred. The scene unfolded in her mind's eye; glowed with a warm, yellow backlight. She was facing a mirror, looking into her own face, rounded with the innocence of childhood. Her hair had been long then, thick and full and slightly wavy. And Chi-Chi had always braided it straight down her back.

Pan swallowed, her nails digging into the palms of her hands. She couldn't do this, couldn't face the woman who had cared for her throughout her childhood, who had always encouraged her. She couldn't face her grandmother, who'd always been at her bedside, even when her parents had fallen asleep and Goku had left to eat.

The guilt for not visiting ate at her; was this how she'd repay Chi-Chi? How she would repay anyone and everyone who had ever helped her? By leaving them, not even bothering to say hello, by completely forgetting them? They would mourn her when she died, they would weep, and tell stories about her, but would she remember them? Would she do the same for them?

"I will," Pan whispered to herself. "I will. I'll never get so preoccupied, so caught up in myself that I forget my family. That I lose sight of what really matters." It was a promise, but the words sounded empty to her ears, sounded as if she wouldn't be able to keep it for a day. She'd left her parents, had only seen them once since she had moved out. And she hadn't thought anything of it. _No, I'm thinking of it now. And I can't lose them, can't push them away. I believe that my family is the best part of me. They care. They have kindness. I am wild, brash, reckless. My family tempers me. And they love me, unconditionally. They didn't leave me when I needed them._

"Grandma?" she called out, stepping into the garden. Her heart began to speed up, beating faster, faster, faster. Pan's hands began to tremble, slim fingers shaking with nerves.

"Pan," she heard her grandma's voice, warm with happiness. It was a shard of glass guilt, twisting deeper into her heart, but she was home. Chi-Chi's smile was radiant as she walked up to the older woman, fell into her arms. She was home, safe in her grandmother's arms. Her grandmother who was tender and caring, who always pushed her to do her best in a way that not even Vegeta could. Her grandmother who wanted to protect her in the way she knew how, not physically, but emotionally.

Chi-Chi's arms were not strong, not made of corded muscle, not calloused or scarred from a thousand fights. They were not arms made for fighting. They were arms made for solace, she realized, as she embraced her grandmother.

"I'm sorry for not visiting more often," she whispered, fearful that if she raised her voice, it would break and tears would fall.

"Oh, honey, it's alright," Chi-Chi pulled away from the hug, cupping Pan's face in her hands. "You have Goku's blood in you. And even though that man drives me absolutely insane sometimes, he is my husband, and I love him. He may love the earth more than me sometimes, but he will always return to his family. And you're the same way."

No, I'm not, Pan wanted to say. I wasn't away because I was training, even though that was part of it. I was away because I forgot, because I'm never going to be like Grandpa Goku. I'm not strong enough, not selfless enough, not brave enough to smile even when everything seems to be going wrong.

"How have you been?" she cleared her throat, brushing away the prickling sensation in the corner of her eyes, in her fingers.

"I'm fine," her grandmother smiled again, full of a sad yet soft kindness Pan knew she couldn't have. "A bit worried, but everyone is. But everyone is training, getting stronger, so I suppose we'll win. We always do."

Her throat tightened again at her grandma's faith, her undying, beautiful faith that everything would be alright. And at the underlying sadness behind it, behind her dark eyes. Staring at her grandmother, Pan realized exactly how old she was. You wouldn't see it, not at first glance, but looking, really looking, it was there. The crow's feet at the corners of her eyes, the laugh lines that formed a parentheses across her cheeks. And the gray hairs that laced through what Pan had always remembered as silky smooth strands of pure black.

Chi-Chi looked weathered, eroded by the years that had touched her and her only, it seemed. But her eyes remained the same, full of warmth and the promise of open arms and comfort. She was not as fiery as Videl, or as brilliant as Bulma. She wasn't a warrior like Pan. But, Pan realized, her grandmother had been fighting their battles with them, in her own way. And her own battle against everything that threatened to take her family away, against time itself. Chi-Chi wasn't physically strong; she couldn't crush a boulder with her fingers, she couldn't destroy a planet with her ki, but she possessed something inside her that was stronger than all of that.

"We have to," Pan replied, understanding that the weight of all the lives of the world rested on their shoulders. A comfortable silence fell between the two, as the birds on Mount Paozu sang as they always had among the trees.

"Would you like anything to eat? Cookies, maybe?" Chi-Chi offered, a glimmer of teasing in her eyes.

"Anything would be good," Pan smiled, feeling as if she was starting to float, as if the rope that tied her to the weight of her problems was slowly fraying, slowly loosening. "You could make anything taste amazing, I'm sure."

"You Saiyans," she said affectionately as Pan took the basket laden with vegetables from her while they walked to the kitchen. "Always thinking with your stomachs."

Pan laughed right along with her grandmother, and the sound mingled with the birds as they sang along, weaving their own song into the melody of laughter. And, for the first time in a long while, Pan felt as if everything were right.

!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Trunks walked through the Capsule Corp. compound, staring absentmindedly at the stars above. They twinkled, glittered, diamonds in the night. Or so they said. Diamonds? He rolled his eyes. Please. The stars were exactly what they seemed, balls of gas burning fiery hot, sending out energy in the form of light and heat. They would live, for billions of years, until they burned themselves out. They would die, cold and dark.

But the brightest stars, they burned the fastest, consumed the most energy, grew the biggest. Betelgeuse, Rigel, those stars would be gone in the blink of an eye to the universe. They would supernova in a flash of blinding light, become a black hole pulling everything in with them. But the people on earth wouldn't know. They'd keep making wishes on the universe's memory of something long gone until the light finally stopped reaching them.

Not noticing it was gone until that brilliant light winked out of existence, left their lives. But they would move on, find other stars, brighter, bigger, hotter. Right? There were millions of them, whole galaxies that existed and would continue to exist for longer than those short, bright bursts.

But there weren't. Those explosions of light and gas were miracles that happened every day. He wondered what it would be like to float in the nothingness of space, forever falling in place, surrounded by the stars, giant stars that hung luminescent in the darkness, never being able to reach them.

Pan had always talked about the stars. When she was little, when they had still talked together and laughed together, when they had been completely comfortable around each other. She'd been almost obsessed with astronomy, practically devouring books about stars and constellations and planets, and repeating the facts she'd learned easily.

The stars were the one thing that he remembered her clinging to, even through the endless nights awake, while waiting for the chemo, while hoping that each one would work. She had looked so alive when she told him about how the universe was formed. Her eyes had sparkled with life again when she had told him about how the planets came to be, when she talked about the chaos that had caused their world.

She'd said things he would have never expected any child to say, but she was Pan, and she was extraordinary.

"And she's gone," he whispered, choking on the words. The thought, the crushing reality it bore, was a weight he didn't want to bear. Pan was gone, she had left him just like he'd left her all those years ago. And the loss was crushing him.

He laughed, a dark and bitter sound as he stood there, alone as the world around him slept and the fires of the stars burned bright. Everything had come full circle after all, he had suffered like she had suffered. Trunks wished he had been strong enough to stay with her, to be the kind of friend that she deserved. He wished he could go back and change it, and tell his younger self not to be such a selfish idiot.

It was all dark, all wrong without her. It was not just that they weren't talking, because they hadn't really talked in years. It wasn't that. It was the fact that they would never be able to. That the future, the possibility, that they could have been friends again, was shattered. And there was now ice between the two of them, he knew, a frost that would always be just beneath the surface.

"I'll miss you," he said to the stars, the silent witnesses above. And to the danger that they all knew were coming, because of a Saiyan girl's dream. And he would miss her, more than he could ever have imagined. But Trunks also understood that he deserved her hatred and her silence. He deserved it, because now he saw what he'd put her through, the abject misery of it, and in that moment, he hated himself more than Pan or anyone else ever could. "I'll miss you," he repeated, turning around.

!~!~!~!~!~!~!

"She dreams of us," a feminine voice laughed, lilting with a strange accent. "The weak, porcelain doll among the giants dream of us from her tower."

"Is this your doing, sister?" another voice questioned, colored with a note of amusement even if he didn't understand the entirety of the metaphor.

"Of course, _bruv_," the girl replied, her eyes glowing golden in the dim light of the spaceship. "Who else could it be? The gods?" She threw her head back, laughing long and loud, sharp teeth flashing white-red.

"Hubris is something you need to understand, _sana_," he raised an eyebrow. "But then again, you were never really one for lessons, were you? I remember how frustrated the teachers would get, especially when you proved them wrong."

"Well, those idiots deserved it," she shrugged, yawning. "What could they teach me that I wasn't capable of learning myself?"

"Pride," he reminded her.

"Who cares?" she leaned in close, the light catching the jewelry in her ears. "They're dead and gone, and I am here now. Therefore I am superior, according to basic logic."

"Alright, you've won," he laughed, curling a lock of her hair around his finger. "You silly girl, where have you decided to go next?"

"Oh, that's right…I haven't told you," she widened her eyes in faux horror. "A tiny little planet, a flyspeck, really."

"An important flyspeck, if you've taken notice of it," he observed dryly.

"And full of fleas, too," she smiled conspiratorially, a macabre sight. "But some very powerful fleas. Saiyan fleas, if the dreamsight is true."

"And it is always true," he grinned back. "Just as you always are right, and always have to win."

"Indeed," the girl hummed, tying her hair back.

"The name of this flyspeck is what, exactly?" he pressed.

"After I conquer it, I'll rename it. Who cares what it's called?" He gave her a look, and she relented, "All right. It's called Earth. What a stupid name, if you ask me. It pisses me off."


End file.
